


I Want To Hurt You

by Dr_Psyche



Series: I Won't Stop [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempted Sexual Assault, Child Abuse, F/F, Horror Comedy, Polyamory, Possession, the tone on this has been screwed sideways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-02-04 06:52:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 31,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12765489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Psyche/pseuds/Dr_Psyche
Summary: After her stalker meets a violent end, Peridot is on edge. Amethyst and Lapis are there for her, but it turns out that not even death can stop some people.





	1. Gone but not Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shadowpiratemonkey7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowpiratemonkey7/gifts).



> Sequel to I Want To Love You. Originally I was writing this as a single piece, but it got longer and longer. I tried to get it out by Halloween 2017, but no such luck. 
> 
> Some other works in the series: [Serenader](http://drpsyche.tumblr.com/post/162715091288/serenader) and its sequel [Turnabout](http://drpsyche.tumblr.com/post/164387246923/turnabout).
> 
> Neither are required to understand this fic, but they do kinda show what 8xA/Alexa's relationship with Bell and Yana Zircon was.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alexa's monologue will be in italics for this fic.

Being dead was a strange experience for Alexa. One moment she was in pain, unable to breath, staring vacantly at Peridot as her vision blurred. The next, she was in blackness. Her senses were completely muted; she could see nothing, smell nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing. Even her sense of self was gone. She was a disembodied thought in a sea of blackness. 

_Is this what being dead’s like? An eternity of this?_

It was a horrible experience. She no longer needed to breath but still felt she had to. She wanted to yell, to hear something in this expanse of nothing. She wanted to see some shape, something that stood out from the blank black screen. 

_Am I in limbo? Is this hell? Is it purgatory?_

Alexa had never been particularly religious, but there had to be something after death. Maybe this, was it? Maybe she was doomed to this blank hell place, unable to feel, unable to be. 

_Did I deserve this?_

She resisted the answer to that question. She tried again to scream into the muted silence, to no avail. 

_There has to be a way out! There has to be!_

**Campus**

“I just think it’s in poor taste,” Bell said, walking with Yana to the library, “I get the whole ‘don’t speak ill of the dead’ mentality, but considering… how… she died, I just don’t think it’s right.”

“Hell, if I know what Holly was thinking,” Yana replied, “Alexa always seemed to hate her.”

“Maybe we should ask her to take the memorial down,” Bell said, “Lord knows what it’s doing to Peri.”

“Or we could steal it? Just grab it at midnight and toss it down the garbage chute,” Yana replied, “Nobody’s gonna replace it.” 

Usually Bell would respond to one of Yana’s less than moral suggestions with a firm no, but now she wasn’t so sure. It would be easy to just grab the picture and throw it in the trash. Preferably one on the other end of campus, less trackable that way.

“How’s she doing by the way?” Yana asked.

“Better,” Bell said, “It hasn’t been a month yet, but she’s getting better. The therapist is helping a lot.”

“Good, good.”

“It can be hard though. I’m trying to juggle being there for her and giving her space. That sounds really selfish, but she has these two conflicting needs and I get it, really. I want her to get better, but I don’t want to make her uncomfortable by being around her or leave her when she needs me,” Bell said, sighing.

“That’s normal,” Yana said, putting an arm around her shoulders, “You care, and you can’t articulate how to show it. All you can do is try. She’s comfortable around you, that’s the bottom line.”

“I suppose,” Bell replied as they entered the library. She was still uncertain but happy for the reassurance.

**Dorms**

Peridot continued down the dorm hallway, lost in thought. The shrink was helping her, and part of that was coming to terms with the small sense of relief she felt. There wasn’t a stalker out there, waiting for her to be alone. She didn’t constantly need to guess where an optimal place for cover would be for whenever she went somewhere. No more hushed talk about her schedules, no more travelling in groups, no more Alexa.

The sense of relief had horrified her at first. She was dead, you shouldn’t celebrate someone being dead, much less someone you’d tripped up and practically killed. The therapist cautioned her against blaming herself; her contribution to Alexa’s death was minimal at best. She’d brought the weapon, she’d chased her into the woods, she’d been the one to stab herself. Self-destructive thoughts weren’t doing anything except hurting her, like they always did. The thoughts were there all the time, even before she’d met Alexa; the feeling that “this is my fault,” screaming in her head wasn’t an unfamiliar one. Alexa’s death had made the problem much worse though, and those thoughts amplified further when she felt more relaxed. She shouldn’t feel good about someone dying, at all. Those were wrong feelings, terrible feelings. 

Even if it was Alexa, even if she was awful, dancing on her grave was disgusting. More of Peridot being selfish, more of her putting her own feelings over anyone else. What would everyone think if she said that out loud? That she was glad Alexa was dead. People would probably agree with her, Alexa had basically burnt all of her bridges already; but their thoughts weren’t hers. They could give their hollow comforts all they wanted, but they weren’t there, watching her bleed out. They weren’t trying to struggle with that image and the possible positive feelings that came from it.


	2. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bell takes action.

Bell took the picture that night. At 9:00, when nobody was in the hallway, she’d just walked by, snatched it and shoved it into her bag. Nobody saw her, nobody would care. Still, she took extra precautions in disposing of it: dismantling the frame, tearing up the picture, and distributing them into three different bins around campus. She returned to the dorms at 10:15.

“I should have done that sooner,” she thought to herself as she got back into hers and Yana’s dorm.

Yana was in her nightgown, reading. She looked up as Bell entered and asked,

“Hey Bell, out violating memorials I see.”

“Oh, come off it, it was your idea!”

“Yeah! And I’m heartbroken you didn’t include me on your little adventure. We could have made a thing of it, sneaking off in the night, disposing of the evidence; illicitly covering our tracks. Some exciting illegal shit, and I missed out.”

“Well, it’s done, that’s what’s important.” Bell said, exasperated.

“I doubt Holly will put another up,” Yana said, “It’s good that her ugly mug’s out of everyone’s sight. We’ll all probably forget her by graduation anyway.”

“For Peri’s sake, I hope so,” Bell said, getting ready for bed.

 

The moment Bell had torn up the image, was the moment that it all went wrong. In the void, the presence that was once a desperate and cruel college girl felt something. A tug on her shoulder, a knowledge of what a shoulder was. That’s when her disembodied form became less disembodied. The sensations began to return to her, she could see herself in her mind’s eye again. She was a physical being, not an aimless series of thoughts. 

There were new thoughts now. The place she was in, was different. Memories she’d never had, came to her. A rivalry with a girl she had a vague idea about, countless hours of study about laws, hair dye, that rivalry becoming something else, paranoia, fear of failure, conspiracy theories, marriage, chili, handcuffs, lazy Sunday mornings, maternal feelings, and more. Alexa felt herself enveloped by these ideas, their strangeness fascinated her, pulled her in deeper. And suddenly… it all clicked.

Alexa let out a scream, and clutched her chest. She was a physical being again, or at least could view herself as one. She remembered everything, that girl she followed and her cute face, the knife, the blood, the suffocation, the fear. She’d been terrified of dying, terrified of ceasing to think, ceasing to be. Yet she hadn’t ceased. She was dead, but not gone. She had become some kind of spirit, this much she could guess, and she was inside of someone. 

_Oh man, that’d be a great pick up line. Are you a possessed victim babe? Because you’ve got me inside of you._

And her wonderful sense of humor had returned! All was right for Alexa. 

_Now, where am I?_

She didn’t need to think too hard. It was that blue haired law student, the one who’d thrown heavy tax books at her, the one who’d always get in her way. Her consciousness lay before Alexa; now all she needed was to get it all to work. 

Bell was dreaming then. She and Yana were a pair of private investigators trying to solve a case. A man had been murdered, possibly by his wife for the insurance money. Except she was murdered as well, and all signs pointed to him as the murderer. Bell regarded the case, he had been killed two days before her, so unless he was a zombie (and it was a dream, so he very well could be), then it must be a copycat. 

“What do you think Yana?” she asked, turning to her partner, both in business and in private.

“Maybe she had a lover? The pair killed the husband and then the lover killed her,” Yana said.

“Maybe,” Bell said, rubbing her chin in thought.

_Fuck this is stupid. Time to make this more interesting._

Bell walked into the victim’s kitchen, looking for clues, while Yana went to go ask the neighbors. This case was a curious one, and probably wouldn’t get solved in time for her waking up. A tragedy that the two murders would never find resolution, heck the victims didn’t even have names, her mind just conjured them up as anonymous.

Bell moved to the bedroom, looking for more clues. The bed wasn’t made, was that out of habit or was she killed before she could make it? Bell’s thoughts were interrupted by the door closing, and Alexa emerging from behind it.

Bell didn’t recognize her, the connection not fully in her brain in her foggy dream state. All she saw was a strange woman with a bloody chest and a very angry disposition advance on her.

“Where’d you come from ma’am?” Bell asked, trying not to sound hostile.

“I need you,” Alexa growled, “Did you see what that bitch did to me?”

“Ma’am, I’m going to ask you to stay wh-”

Bell was cut off by a harsh blow to the face, knocking her off balance. She crashed onto the bed and Alexa climbed on top of her. She straddled Bell’s waist and gripped her throat with both hands.

“I’m gonna try something,” she said, a vicious smile on her face.

Bell looked up in horror, her dream self’s reflexes naturally dull. As she tried to protest, Alexa squeezed.

Bell bolted up in bed in a cold sweat. Yana, who had been cuddling with her was knocked awake as well.

“Babe, you ok?” she asked, groggily sitting up.

Bell was breathing rapidly, touching her neck.

“Bell?”

“I-I’m fine,” Bell said, the dream already fading from her mind, “I don’t know what happened.”

“Maybe you dreamed about falling off a building,” Yana said with a yawn, “That’s what makes me jump up in the middle of the night.

“Must have been nothing,” Bell muttered before laying back down.

_It isn’t nothing._


	3. Misery loves Making Others Miserable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa tries her hand at body autonomy.

**The Next Day**

Bell and Yana were eating their oatmeal, each scrolling through their phones. Yana was reading an email her professor had sent out, whilst Bell was checking a news article about stock prices. It was a nice lazy morning. Alexa hated it.

_How the fuck do I control this thing! Move dammit! Stand up! Stop eating, do something!_

She realized that possessing people wasn’t nearly as easy as she thought it would be. Goddamnit, how did this work? She’d entered Bell through the picture and now that she was inside, she should be able to do something, anything! Yet there was nothing she could do except experience memories and sensations. It was so terrible. 

Alexa could only watch all of Bell’s histories, Peri was there at least. It was weird, being able to be so close to her, if only vicariously. Seeing her so comfortable around her (or rather Bell), was a new experience. She could feel her own hand on Peridot’s shoulder, a comforting gesture from an old memory. Other memories were less pleasant; for one thing, she was kissing Yana.

_Ew, no, fuck this._

Alexa internally grimaced as she looked across the table to where Yana was eating. That was one of the bigger downsides to this body, being married to this asshole.

_Peridot should have touched the photo. Even to throw it out, it would have been so much easier!_

Still, something had to be done. She looked through Bell’s memories again, trying to find something. It was like channel surfing on a particularly lazy afternoon. Alexa wanted to find some drama, maybe something to point out and laugh at this woman’s life. She settled on an old memory of Bell and her mother arguing. It was pathetic really, something about a grade, not a bad grade, just an average one. Average didn’t seem good enough for the woman.

Bell cringed at the memory, and Alexa stopped for a moment. That was it! That was a reaction. Alexa viewing the memory had stirred something inside of Bell. She was onto something, some brief bit of influence; this was her way in.

She switched on another memory; this one a positive one from when she got married. It was sickeningly saccharine, but Alexa was surprised that it had no effect on Bell. She switched on a negative one, a fight that she and Yana had last year. That seemed to work and Alexa could feel Bell’s disappointment in the incident.

_Negative emotions seem to do it. I suppose that’s fitting._

And thus, Alexa tried her very best to make Bell’s morning miserable. It’s like being happy until you remember something embarrassing, or something that made you angry. For a reason Bell could not quite understand, she was compelled to remember several rows with her mother over her pushy and controlling ways. All those disappointed sighs she would have about Bell’s inability to do something. She remembered a child taunting her in elementary school, a particularly difficult plane ride with a screaming child, the time she got so angry at herself for wearing her hair in pigtails when she was in high-school, and so many others. 

Alexa was having fun. She’d always hated the blue haired law student; Bell had been a particularly bad thorn in her side for quite some time and it just felt good to make her hate herself. 

_God, your pigtails were ugly._

Bell grimaced at the memory.

_Now stand on the counter and dance naked._

The suggestion wasn’t meant to be anything more than Alexa wondering out loud, but she was surprised when Bell actually did stand up.

“I’m going to go and change,” Bell said, heading back to their room.

“Kay,” Yana replied, not looking up from the phone.

_I-I did something! I got her to move, I was able to exert some control. That’s it, this is how I can do it! It’s her negativity I can feed off of. More of this and I can be in full control. I can do this, I can do this._

Bell changed into a collared shirt, skirt and semi-formal jacket. Her look was always at least a bit professional, even in purely social situations.

_You look like a tool._

Bell furrowed her brow at the thought.

“I don’t look that bad,” she thought to herself.

But then she (or rather Alexa) felt that she looked stiff, like a stilted socially awkward idiot always embarrassing themselves at any social event by trying to look smart. Why did she feel this way? Why the hell did she ever think that pigtails looked good?

“Man, it’s been a bad morning,” Bell muttered.

_It’s going to get worse._

Alexa concentrated on the negativity, concentrated on Bell’s anger and her insecurities. As Bell returned to the kitchen, Alexa built up the feelings more and more.

_I want you to let out the part of you that you don’t want anyone to see. I want your darkest urges at the front of your mind. Everything you try to hide from the world, all the sick things you pretend you don’t feel. I want them out._

Bell reentered the kitchen, the thoughts taking shape in her head. Her feelings were being manipulated, and upon facing Yana, she said.

“That shirt looks ugly on you,”

_Yes- wait what?!_

Yana looked up from her phone.

“Excuse me?” she asked, confused.

_That’s it?! That’s the darkness that rests in the hearts of man? Some catty comment about her clothes?!_

“I just don’t think it suits you,” Bell said.

“Uh, I guess?” Yana said, surprised at the forwardness.

_The fuck was that?! What the fuck was that?! That was pathetic, that was some milquetoast bullshit. You weren’t even rude! Tell her it makes her look like a slut or something! Tell her it makes you angry!_

“Oh, oh my,” Bell said, surprised at her earlier bluntness, “Oh, Yana, I’m so sorry. I-I don’t know what came over me. Damn. I didn’t mean to sound that harsh.”

_Darkest thoughts?! Darkest thoughts?! That’s all?_

“No, no,” Yana said, not even mad, “It’s a night shirt, I’ll be changed out of it soon.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Bell said, worried, “I didn’t mean that. It’s just, wow, I’ve been having a bad morning.”

_Hit her! Have some dark thought about punching her! Haven’t you ever thought of that? What about your mother? Aren’t you thinking about driving to her house and stabbing her? Anything?_

But even then, Alexa could feel her control ebbing away. The negative memories settled back to their previous positions; visible and there, but not causing undue distress. Alexa’s power was gone, for the moment at least. She could only watch in disgust as Bell tried to reassure Yana that the shirt was fine and that she was just having an off morning. Yana was similarly trying to reassure Bell that she wasn’t angry.

_Fuck me this is going to take a while._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The human pain giving spirits more power idea I'm borrowing from Twin Peaks.


	4. Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst speaks with Carnelian on the events of that night.

**The Next Day**

Amethyst finished drying her hair and left the lockers. It’d been another off day, she couldn’t concentrate and Jasper had easily pinned her again. It’d been an off month honestly. Things hadn’t returned to normal after the incident, Amethyst never expected anything to, but still.

She sighed, Carnelian coming behind her and clapping her on the back.

“Better luck next time, eh Ams?” she said.

“Yeah,” Amethyst said, absentmindedly.

Even Carnelian had broken her hold, she really was slipping. She kept playing that night in her head again and again. What could she have done differently? She should have woken up sooner, should have checked behind her more when driving out, should have been a lighter sleeper. All of these “should haves” played in her head alongside the “could haves.” Alexa could have gone all the way. Maybe Peridot could have tripped and fallen on the knife. Alexa could have cut their throats in their sleep. Could she have been capable of that? Amethyst didn’t think so, but Alexa had followed them out into the middle of the woods and stripped Peridot at knife point, so who knows what she could have done.

“You ok Ams?” Carnelian asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Huh? Oh yeah, fine,” she said, her voice not really sounding it.

“I know it’s not my place but, are things going good over there?” Carnelian asked, concerned, “Healing takes time.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get that,” Amethyst said with a sigh.

“She’s ok though. That’s what’s important,” Carnelian said.

“You were Alexa’s friend, right?” Amethyst asked.

“Friend’s a real strong word.”

“Did you think she could do this?” 

Carnelian thought about that. This wasn’t the first time she’d thought about it either. Sometimes at night she questioned her complicity in what had happened. The warning signs had all been there, and even at the time she and Aqua had an idea of what Alexa was like. Could she have stepped in to stop it before it snowballed into this? Did she just leave a potentially dangerous person like this run around, knowing full well what she was capable of? Carnelian knew she should have done something sooner.

“In the forest with a knife? No,” Carnelian answered.

It was the truth too. The level of malice in what she had done was unexpected. At least she hoped that it hadn’t been expected.

“She feels guilty,” Amethyst said.

“Should you be telling me this?” Carnelian asked.

She chided herself internally for that. She didn’t want to burden herself with Amethyst’s issues and was feigning a concern for Peridot. Carnelian fumed at her own selfishness.

“Sorry, sorry,” Amethyst said, “But she does. There’s only so many ways we can say it wasn’t her fault. But _she_ needs to believe it.”

“I’m sure the shrink will help,” Carnelian replied.

"I hope so," Amethyst said.


	5. Creamed Corn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Zircons stay in for the night. Alexa's machinations involve Creamed Corn.

For some ungodly reason, Bell had a craving for creamed corn. She’d never had any particular fondness for the stuff, but here she was consuming a bowlful of it. Yana watched her; they’d both ordered a pizza delivered to the dorms, yet Bell insisted on making the creamed corn she’d felt compelled to buy this afternoon. It was strange.

“So… why the creamed corn?” Yana asked.

“I don’t know,” Bell admitted, eating another spoonful, “I just had this sudden craving for it.”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” Yana asked.

“Yana!” Bell said, shooting a glare at her.

“What? This is normal for pregnancy, right? Sudden cravings for weird food?” Yana asked.

“I’m not fucking pregnant!” Bell snapped.

“Ok, ok,” Yana said with a shrug.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, the creamed corn was part of an insidious plot by the spectral Alexa. Having combed through Bell’s memories, Alexa had discovered a wealth of pop-culture knowledge. She tried to emulate one of the TV shows Bell had enjoyed, wherein the demonic spirits would feast on creamed corn thus increasing their power. 

It wasn’t working.

All she’d managed to do was make Bell eat this disgusting stuff. What was worse was that Alexa could actually taste it. Perhaps there was something to be said for Alexa to vicariously experience the sensation of taste through Bell’s mouth. If there was, Alexa was miserable, having to endure the taste of creamed corn. It was horrifying.

Bell and Yana were staying in tonight. They’d ordered pepperoni pizza (and creamed corn) and were watching Law and Order reruns. They’d long since abandoned the practice of pointing out legal errors because the show was more interested in creating drama than in being accurate, and they could appreciate it for what it was. Yana claimed Mr. McCoy had long since betrayed his principles as a prosecutor by becoming a divorce lawyer. Bell had never watched Grace and Frankie and had no idea what the reference was.

Alexa only now realized that the Creamed Corn was a bad idea, as the demon spirits from Twin Peaks fed on human suffering and misery and that was symbolically represented by creamed corn and wasn’t actually creamed corn.

_I ate all this yellow puke for nothing!_

Bell couldn’t hear the screaming inside of her own head, which was probably for the best. Still it wasn’t a complete loss for Alexa, the unpleasant consumption of gross food did allow her for a bit more control over Bell, though Alexa was too distracted by the disgust at what she’d been eating.

“You think SVU’s any good?” Yana asked, having just finished another pizza slice.

“No,” Bell said, definitively.

“Man, I miss Lennie,” Yana said.

“Never was the same without him,” Bell agreed.

_Who fucking cares?! Stop eating the fucking creamed corn!_

Bell grimaced at her food and got up to scrape it into the garbage. She’d finished most of it anyway.

“Craving’s past?” Yana asked.

“I don’t know what came over me,” Bell said.

_Creamed fucking corn! Gaaaaah!_

Bell sat back on the bed and took a slice of pizza.

“It’s been a week,” she admitted.

“Yeah, has been, hasn’t it?” Yana said.

They continued watching the show, Yana easily figuring out the murderer (“It’s the person they’re trying to make out to be the most inconspicuous or sympathetic”) and Bell remarking on the detective pairing’s chemistry. Outside of being disgusted, Alexa was bored. Law and Order never had its appeal to her, she wished she was anywhere else; either hanging out with Aquamarine or off working on her wax candles. 

“Hey,” Yana said, a wry smile coming to her face as the credits started to role.

“Hm?” Bell asked, still watching as the next episode opener played.

“I’ve got something new,” Yana said.

“Mm-hm,” Bell said, still watching TV and not picking up on Yana’s tone.

“You remember when we looked into crops that one time?”

Now Bell picked up on Yana’s tone, and turned to her, her face a mixture of intrigue and embarrassment.

_What in the ever-loving FUCK does that mean?_

“It didn’t cost a whole lot honestly, buuuut…”

Alexa could feel it. She wished she didn’t feel it, but she could. It was horrifying.

“You-you bought it?” Bell asked.

_Oh. Oh no, no no no no nonononono!_

“Wanna see?”

This was it, this was the worst-case scenario. Alexa realized with growing horror that she was vicariously experiencing arousal at the other woman. Her heartbeat was picking up, this was bad. Alexa recoiled at the memories of such experiences, goddamnit she could remember Bell sticking her tongue into Yana’s mouth over chili. Alexa felt like she was the one doing it. If she had a body she’d let out a tremendous shudder. It was horrible, this couldn’t continue.

“You know, we don’t need to get up early tomorrow,” Yana said.

“We could stay up all night…” Bell replied.

_No! Fuck this! Abort!_

Bell leaned over and kissed her. Alexa could feel the texture of Yana’s lips and the warmth Bell felt from the action. It was awful. 

_Why her of all people? … Oh right, married. Fuck._

Alexa didn’t like Yana, at all. Perhaps it was the forwardness, perhaps it was the time Yana made a pass at her. Regardless, Yana unnerved her, and the thoughts going through Bell’s head unnerved her even more. There was a history of sexual experimentation that Alexa was now painfully aware of. The memories flooded past her the sensations enveloped her. Some would call it beautiful, some would call it erotic, some would call it loving, Alexa would wish she could come back to life just to kill herself again.

Maybe if it was anyone else she’d enjoy the peepshow; but she hated the Zircons. Watching their intimacy was less an act of voyeurism and more that scene from A Clockwork Orange featuring the Ludivico technique. The hatred of the pair mixed with the lust was a dangerous combination in her mind; two polar opposite feelings colliding. And frankly she did not want to vicariously experience being dommed.

_This needs to stop!_

Through her will, through the unpleasantness she’d made Bell endure, Alexa spread her influence, railroading Bell’s mind. With all of her effort she managed to spark a change in Bell. 

She turned Bell off.

“Huh,” Bell said, breaking the kiss.

“You ok?” Yana asked.

“I’m sorry Yana,” Bell said, sighing.

“Not feeling it huh?” Yana asked.

“Yeah,” Bell replied, “I don’t know, I was into it a moment ago.”

“No, no, it’s alright,” Yana said, laughing a bit, “We can have fun another night.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? Sometimes you’re not up to it, sometimes I’m not up to it. It’s fine Bell, it’s fine.”

The pair turned back to the TV, the next episode of Law and Order playing.

_That, was it? That’s all?_

Alexa was dumbfounded. She’d expected a struggle, or some conflict. But no, that really was all. Bell said no and then nothing happened. Alexa couldn’t even comprehend it.


	6. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bell's life and its little frustrations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly just a transitional chapter.

**3 days later**

Peridot entered into the common room. On the couch sat Emerald, Sadie, and Lars all watching Captain Harlock: Arcadia of my Youth.

“Hey Peridot,” Sadie said, pleasant as ever, “You want in on this?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Peridot replied, trying to sound sincere.

“You sure?” Lars asked, “It’s a classic.”

“I’m fine,” she repeated.

Peridot was looking for something. Her earbuds had gone missing and she’d checked her entire room for them and Lapis’s. Now she was checking the common room, it had to be somewhere. Peridot hated losing things.

The earbuds were in Bell’s room, but Peridot didn’t know that. Bell had taken them unconsciously when visiting her room and only now, as she sat by herself in her own room, flipping through a text book, did she notice them. Bell turned to the white apple airbuds, just lying on the book shelf. When had she put those there? It was so weird. The whole week had been a similar kind of weird. She had a craving for creamed corn, apparently, she’d taken a few of Peridot’s things without noticing, she’d felt compelled to buy a series of vanilla scented candles, and at times she would find herself trying to avoid Yana. They hadn’t been fighting, so Bell had no real idea why she felt the need to steer clear of her. Sometimes she could feel her arm itch; it was always in the same place near her right shoulder. She could have sworn she saw a mark there once when she looked into the mirror. 

She found herself assaulted by intrusive thoughts more and more. Negative feelings, bad memories, etc. She felt drawn towards remembering things that hurt and every new annoyance would stay with her. She’d stew on minor things like the self-checkout at the grocery store holding her up. The entire ordeal made her feel petty which further compounded the negativity.

_That’s the point!_


	7. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot, Lapis, and Amethyst stay in for the night. A necessary talk is had.

**A Few Nights later**

They were all in Peridot’s room; she and Amethyst were playing Halo 3 on the Xbox 360. Lapis sat on the bed behind them, idly watching as they blasted at each other. It was clear to both her and Amethyst that Peridot’s heart wasn’t in the game, usually she was a wiz at this, now she had walked into Amethyst’s grenades twice and tried to snipe her with a shotgun. Peri was somewhere else at the time, and Amethyst could see from how she seemed to be staring off into space.

Neither was sure how they could breach the conversation. Lapis wondered if they should just leave it as it was; even with the tension thick in the air. Amethyst searched through all the different ways she could broach the subject. “Hey Peridot, remember that time in the woods where your stalker nearly raped you? Want to talk about it?” God the flippancy of that remark made her want to bite her minds tongue.

How do they talk about this? It had been a rough month. Peridot was seeing the psychologist sure, but she was still feeling the aftereffects. Lapis and Amethyst would occasionally sleep over, on the floor of course, to try and keep her company. The night terrors weren’t going away anytime soon. Bell and Yana had stayed once as well, the five of them all piled into Peridot’s room. It was cramped, but it felt safe.

Peridot’s next death occurred when she discharged a rocket launcher too close to a wall, killing herself. Amethyst had won the match, a rarity during their plays.

Peridot wasn’t the only one getting distracted. Lapis and Amethyst both found the night’s events weighing in on them at inopportune times. Lapis would sometimes reflect on her lack of action when it happened. How she needed Amethyst’s prompting to go see if Alexa was ok. Maybe she really had thought Alexa was gone and checking her vitals was unimportant. Or maybe she just didn’t want to bother maybe she didn’t want to do anything that could have potentially saved her, even if it was an action that minute. Was showing that side of her in front of the bleeding and crying Peridot only hurting her more? Was this just more of Lapis’s own selfishness shining through, as she tried to make the whole situation about her and how she felt? Lapis didn’t know what to do with those thoughts.

“Welp, that’s it for me,” Peridot said, sending the game to the main menu, “You guys want to play something else?”

“Sure P, what you got in mind?” Amethyst asked.

“I got Rocket League,” Peridot said, standing up and walking to her shelf of games, “We can probably do a 3 player in that. You wanna hop in Lapis?”

“Yeah, of course,” Lapis said, sitting up on in the bed.

Amethyst handed her a controller. Their eyes met, and the pair exchanged concerned glances. Peridot wasn’t inflecting again. It wasn’t uncommon, but whenever her voice attained this monotonous dead tone, things weren’t so kosher.

Peridot popped the disc in and they all began to play. Again, Peridot’s normally high skill level was absent as Lapis quickly stole the ball and made the first point.

“Congrats,” Peridot said, monotonously.

“Peridot,” Lapis began, “Do you want to keep playing?”

“It’s just the first point,” Peridot replied.

“P, not going to lie, you look crappy,” Amethyst said, taking the tried and true direct approach.

Lapis was about to chastise her for that, only for Amethyst to cut her off before she could begin.

“Sorry Peri, but something’s bugging you, best rip it off like a Band-Aid,” Amethyst said.

Peridot looked at her, and then turned to Lapis.

“We’re your girlfriends Peridot,” Lapis said, earnestly, “You know you can talk to us.”

“I, I don’t want to bring you guys down with me,” Peridot said, inflection returning to her voice.

“Nah P, this’s part of the deal,” Amethyst said, “You gotta be willing to take emotional support if you want to give it.”

“When in the hell have I ever given you guys emotional support?” Peridot asked.

“Test taking, wrestling losses, those nights we come in hungover…” Amethyst said, listing off the indiscretions on her finger.

“You deal with me whenever I get into one of my moods,” Lapis said, “God knows that’s punishment enough.”

“You tell us these things because we got your back,” Amethyst said, “All it does is weigh on you if you don’t.”

Lapis and Amethyst looked at her, expectantly. They’d learned not to look like they were taking pity on her; it hurt when they did that, as if they were looking down on her. Peridot sighed.

“Thanks, you guys,” she said, “Honestly though, it’s fine.”

Her voice sounded tired but not unhappy. 

“You’re helping me just by being here,” Peridot continued, “Vidalia told me that this helps. Just us doing what we used to do.”

“I’m sorry if we look like we’re trying to say nothing’s wrong,” Lapis said.

“Nah, nah,” Peridot said, “It’s not that. Vidalia told me that it’s all part of this sense of normalcy we try to grab. It’s not that we’re saying nothing happened. Something did happen, and I’ve got to deal with that. But just doing simple things like this… it helps.”

“I can see that,” Amethyst said.

“I mean, at first I didn’t get it,” Peridot said, “I felt like I was trying to dodge the problem, but it turns out this is normal. This is how people come to terms with the things that happen to them. It’s just how our weird brains work.” 

Peridot let out a long breath and leaned back against the bed as the next game loaded up. Lapis looked down at her, the light from the TV bouncing off her glasses and her eyes focused on the middle distance, lost in thought.

“I can’t tell if I’m ok,” Peridot finally said, “It’s been a few weeks but I can still see her.”

She paused, still staring ahead. The screen was asking for a button prompt but neither Lapis nor Amethyst dared try anything.

“Sometimes… I feel like I’m still in the woods. With her,” Peridot continued, her voice gradually losing inflection, “And all of this is just a dream I’m having because my mind is trying to escape.”

Again, Amethyst and Lapis didn’t say anything, they just sat and listened patiently.

“But,” Peridot continued, inflection returning, “That’s happening less and less now. I’m not ‘over’ it, but it’s like a scar that’s fading.”

“That’s great P,” Amethyst said, a month ago she would have playfully punched her on the shoulder but now they tried to limit sudden physical contact.

“I still feel guilty about it,” Peridot said, staring off again, “I know it’s wrong, but I still feel that way.”

“It was never your fault,” Lapis said, firmly, “If anything, we should have gotten up sooner. We shouldn’t have left you alone with her.”

That comment didn’t seem to be helping. If anything, Amethyst noted that the guilt seemed to come into Peridot harder knowing that Lapis and Amethyst were blaming themselves. Amethyst sighed and said,

“Nah Lap. It’s her fault. We didn’t buy a knife and go after someone who wasn’t interested. None of us were trying to corner someone and hurt them. The buck stops with Alexa. That’s where it needs to stop.” 

“True,” Lapis said, feeling that she was using Peridot’s problems to take a shot at herself and subsequently feeling guilty.

“Peri,” Amethyst continued, “We can’t control how you feel, and this isn’t us telling you to get over it. But what she did was wrong and it was her fault. You feeling bad for her is normal, we’re all human. But you didn’t do that to her.”

Peridot sighed again, “Yeah. I understand. Same with you guys. I won’t want you two to ever be beating yourselves up over what happened. It happened, you shouldn’t feel guilty for that. She came at me fast and she came quiet because she was afraid of you.”

Peridot looked at the pair of them, “Just so we’re clear.”

Amethyst smiled at that, relieved. They weren’t out of the woods yet, but it was progress.

“You guys in the mood for a group hug?” Amethyst asked.

“Always,” Lapis said, “Peri?”

Peridot smiled and reached out to the pair. The three hugged each other, happy for the closeness. Peridot was glad for the contact, happy that she wasn’t flinching away like she had been. It was progress, as Amethyst believed. Recovery takes time and it may seem like an impossible mountain to climb, but any amount of progress made is an achievement to be proud of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was looking around for who to use as the Psychologist. Vidalia was an idea bounced around.


	8. Under Your Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bell's losing herself more and more.

Alexa had been pumping Bell’s mind full of negativity for as long as she’d been stuck there. Every day she felt her control grow and grow. She could plant thoughts into Bell’s head, thoughts that would contradict with who she was but she’d still find herself going along with them. It was nice to have candles again. Alexa wondered what she’d do in the future. Would she just live her life vicariously through this woman? The face in the mirror wasn’t her face anymore, and her actual body was in the ground at this point. She hadn’t compelled Bell to go to the grave, Alexa didn’t want to know what was there, she didn’t want to confirm it for herself. 

Peridot and Bell had gone to the boardwalk yesterday. She was right there, right next to her. Alexa tried everything in her power to get Bell to do something. To touch her, to run her hand through her hair, to take her to one of the less populated areas. Nothing happened. Alexa’s existence was almost entirely founded on emotional feelings at this point, and seeing Peri was as if her whole form was on fire. Seeing her hair, her cute smile, the way she so naively allowed herself to be so near to Bell. Alexa tried with all her might to push that feeling, that lustful burning, onto Bell. To find some primal hidden urge in her that she was ashamed of. All Alexa found was a lingering anxiety over a paper Bell had submitted. Fuck. 

This was a familiar feeling. She’d felt this lust and frustration back when she watched Peridot at her girlfriends from the bushes by the lake. They were there, just dancing before her out of her reach. She’d felt it earlier when she’d tried her hand at bedding another cute girl, Skye (a shy introvert with a blue bob) and had that blow up in her face as well. Damn, Alexa felt she was slipping.

The little trip had been unbearable. She was so close! But Bell’s mind was steadfast. It was awful, trapped there, stuck between hate and lust and unable to do anything. Bell got home that night, that’s when she first saw it. The fruit of Alexa’s work was starting to appear. She’d willed it into existence, if only for a moment. When Bell came out of the shower, Bell thought she saw something in the mirror, some mark on her arm. She didn’t recognize it, but Alexa did. It was her tattoo; that gem tattoo she was so fond of. That’s when Alexa knew she had an end goal. This was a physical sign of her progress, a way to convey to her that she was succeeding. Bell was slowly slowly becoming hers. Her mind and her body were being subtly shifting towards Alexa.

That’s when Alexa learned not to rush it. She’d scaled her efforts back; subtle acts like taking Peridot’s earbuds unconsciously, pushing her away from Yana, and indulging in Alexa’s own, albeit harmless, hobbies. It was easier now. Bell didn’t need as much prompting as she used to. She still couldn’t steer the law student into Peridot’s pants, but she could keep her going. 

Bell’s mind was becoming numb on a cocktail of negative emotions and memories. She felt tired all the time. She felt like a scratchy throat; not a full-blown pain of a sore throat, but a generally uncomfortable feeling that won’t go away. She hated feeling like this. Yana was getting worried, concerned that she was getting a cold. That concern angered her; as if she deserved to be pitied. That anger made her ashamed, however, sad that she felt so dismissive towards her own partner. It was a miserable cycle, which Alexa loved.

Once, when Bell walked into the bathroom, she saw Alexa in the mirror. She screamed, and Yana came running. She regretted that immediately, her sleep deprived brain was just conjuring up delusions, and it made Yana concerned for her. That pity was there when Yana asked if she was ok. They had a fight then, Bell fully knowing she was in the wrong, but refusing to back down. She felt so embarrassed for what she’d done, and too embarrassed to deescalate. Even after the fight, she still felt humiliated over the whole affair.

Alexa couldn’t have been happier. She saw it too. For a brief moment, she had seen herself in the mirror. It wasn’t a stranger’s face staring back at her, but the face she’d been given at birth. It was good to see her face, good to feel like she was alive again and not a sad little dead girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skye is Blue Pearl. Couldn't think of a name so I went with Skye like Sky Blue.


	9. Down in Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling down, Lapis spends the night out, while Bell inches closer and closer to something she doesn't want to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Rocky](http://drawbauchery.tumblr.com/post/163932303467/i-wanted-to-make-a-drawing-of-rocky-and-wondering) is another OC. [She likes rocks and she's nice.](http://drawbauchery.tumblr.com/post/164049806457) In human form we will call her Roxy, just because. She was the one who gave Peridot the geode in the last fic.

**[Lapis’s dorm]**

Lapis stared down at her laptop. The report had already been completed and sent, but she still had all the tabs she’d used for research open, and they were making the device chug. She was aimlessly clicking through websites. It had been a tough time for them. She, like Amethyst, was left thinking of all the maybes that could have happened back at that night. What could have happened to Peridot, what Alexa could have done. Mixed in with those thoughts was the guilt, how neither of them were there when she was cornered and hurt. It bothered Lapis a lot. That was the problem with the past; it was permanent and while it wasn’t vivid, it had a tendency to brand the most uncomfortable parts of itself in one’s mind.

Talking with Peridot had helped. But she knew that it had been Amethyst who’d taken the lead. Amethyst who’d gotten to the core of the problem and not tries to mine Peridot’s problems for her own. Thinking about that night made her so angry, her inability to do anything, the Alexa situation spiraling out of control to that point. It could have been worse, sure, but that didn’t make what had happened any better. She just wished she could just hold Peridot and push this away. To tell her that they were out of the woods and she was safe. What good would any of that do?

She sighed and restarted her laptop. She got off her bed and changed; getting ready to go out. She’d talked to Amethyst about this; the pair had to work out how best to help. They were trying desperately to know when to be there to support her, when to give her space, how to make their support not feel like it was smothering her, etc. Lapis had always been proud of her… debauchedness, but she was second guessing that reputation now. Since then she hadn’t even attempted anything with either of them. After what happened, the last thing Peridot needed was one of her “advances.” It didn’t bother her; Peri’s problems came first. She told herself that, but even the act of telling herself that made her angry. As if she needed to state it, as if she considered Peridot’s problems something that she needed to remind herself to give a shit about. As if-

Lapis shook her head. Going on one of those tangents wasn’t helping anyone. She left her dorm and walked into the hallway. Outside she saw Roxy and Topaz chatting.

“And then, when Megatron and Starscream teleport the ship, they find a Rock Lord!” Roxy said, excitedly recounting the Season 3 premier of Transformers Animated, “I never knew they’d reference that old toy line.”

“Interesting,” Topaz replied, “That and Go-Bots? It’s always nice when they shine a light back on old toylines.”

Roxy was on about her rocks again. Conversations with her usually tended to circle back to her special interests. It was cute honestly, it reminded Lapis of Peridot sometimes. Amethyst and Jasper had gone with her to an archeological dig once. Amethyst said she was good company.

“Hey Lapis,” Topaz said, as Lapis walked up to them.

Topaz was also a good egg. She didn’t talk much, but she was always sweet. Lapis didn’t think she was capable of anger. Topaz could always indulge whatever you wanted to talk to her about. In this case, cartoon and toy discussions.

“Hey Topaz,” Lapis said, “You guys up to anything?”

“We’re heading into town to go get something to eat,” Roxy said, “Wanna come?”

“Yeah,” Topaz said, “Unless you’re doing something?”

Amethyst had practice and Peridot was at the psychologists in Empire City. Lapis had nothing going on right then and there.

“Sure,” Lapis said.

“Yay!” Roxy said, clapping her hands.

“The more the merrier,” Topaz said, patting Lapis on the shoulder, “We’ll decide on a place when we get there.”

The three set off, heading to the elevator and leaving through the lobby. Topaz chatted about all the different places in town they’d gone to. There was a good pizza restaurant and a great place for French fries with a mascot that dove further into the uncanny valley than any other thing on earth. Topaz admitted a certain fondness for the boardwalk and all the little amusements on it, Lapis couldn’t disagree.

As they walked down to the bus stop, Lapis saw Bell come into view. Bell was dressed up in her jacket and jeans with her messenger bag. She looked anxious and was fidgeting a lot. As they got closer, Lapis could see the law student sweating and glancing around nervously.

“Hi Bell!” Roxy said, enthusiastically.

“Um, hi you guys,” Bell said, running her hands together.

“You going into town?” Topaz asked, “We’re off to get some early dinner if you’re interested.”

“We’re off to make Frybo give us nightmares,” Lapis said, “You can’t pass up on that, can you?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Bell said, idly fingering her bag strap.

“Everything ok?” Topaz asked.

“Oh, I’m fine,” Bell said, “Just… just going to town for a few things.”

Lapis regarded her. They hadn’t necessarily been the closest of people, Bell liked to mom all over Peridot and part of the parent act seemed to put her at odds with Lapis. Maybe Lapis took up too much of Peri’s time, maybe Bell felt Lapis’s forwardness was a red-flag, or maybe just maybe it was because Bell had walked in on them once. It was probably that honestly; Lapis remembered locking eyes with her at that moment, both of them regretted that the door wasn’t locked. 

“If you do want to come and eat with us, the invitation is open,” Topaz said.

“Thanks, really,” Bell said, trying to smile.

The bus arrived and the four got on. Roxy sat next to Topaz and chatted to her about the chemical make-up of Malachite and how it turned toxic when exposed to water. Lapis took a seat behind Bell, and watched the scenery go past. Lapis noticed that Bell’s nervousness didn’t change. It wasn’t unusual to find her nervous like this; Bell had once rambled on about how tinfoil hats were a conspiracy by the tinfoil company to sell more tinfoil. Bell was a small ball of nerves. Oh man, there’s a great innuendo there, damn, if only Amethyst was here.

“Hey Bell,” Lapis said, “You ok? Something seems to be bothering you.”

Bell sighed and said, “I’ve just been on edge lately. I feel like something bad’s going to happen.”

“How so?” Lapis asked.

“That’s partly why I’m worried, I don’t know.”

“Is it about Peridot?”

“Maybe.”

“Hey, uh,” Lapis said, “I know we don’t talk all that often, but I want to say thanks for recommending the psychologist. Peridot seeing someone has really helped.”

“Y-yeah,” Bell said, rubbing her shoulder, “And I guess I should say thanks for you and Amethyst for helping her when it happened.”

“We didn’t do anything,” Lapis said, the night’s memories of guilt still digging into her, “She got out on her own.”

“You helped her to the hospital, you helped her get help. I was miles away,” Bell said, “Even beyond that you’re helping her back to full.”

“So are you,” Lapis replied.

Bell sighed and said, “I just hope she can get through this. I think she blames herself for what happened.”

“Yeah,” Lapis said, “When that idea takes hold it’s hard to get it out.”

They arrived at the bus station and the four got out. Roxy heading towards the Big Donut.

“You sure you don’t want to come with us?” Lapis asked.

“Nah, you guys have fun. I’ve got something important to do,” Bell said, waving them off.

Lapis waved back and followed Topaz into the Big Donut. Sadie greeted the three when they got in,

“Hey guys, what’ll it be?”

Lars let out a noncommittal grunt and didn’t look away up from his phone. Lapis observed that Emerald and Ronaldo were at a table to the left, seemingly arguing about the different types of classic anime.

“I’ll take an old fashioned,” Topaz said, “What do you guys want?”

“Cookie cat!” Roxy said.

“Topaz, you don’t have to,” Lapis said.

“No, no,” Topaz said, shaking her head, “It’s just a donut.”

“Ok then,” Lapis conceded, “I’ll have a maple bar.”

Sadie got their orders together, and Topaz got her money out.

“Are you feeling ok?” she asked Lapis, quietly.

Lapis turned to the taller girl and said, “I’m fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“You seem stressed lately.”

“Is that why you’re buying the donut? Is it a pity donut?” Lapis asked, hoping her tone was as jokey as she thought it was.

“It can be hard to go through events like that. Even as a friend,” Topaz said, “Emotions take a toll on you, and it’s not selfish to admit that.”

“I’m ok, Topaz, really.” 

“I have every confidence that you can get through this. Garnet does so as well. Call it intuition,” Topaz said, smiling down at her.

The three received their donuts and bid the staff goodnight. They passed by Emerald and Ronaldo’s stimulating conversation of whether Fist of the North Star or Sailor Moon declined in quality over the seasons. Emerald insisted that Fist of the North Star 2 was a worthy successor to the first (a bold claim) while Ronaldo went to bat for Sailor Moon SuperS (a claim that transcends bravery and becomes stupid). 

Lapis bit into her maple bar outside. It was good, the syrupy flavor accentuated by the smooth chilled texture. 

“Topaz,” Lapis said, speaking softly so Roxy couldn’t hear.

“Hm?” Topaz replied.

“I know this might be the guilt talking, but I just feel something bad is going to come from this whole situation,” Lapis said.

“How so?” Topaz asked, concerned, “Do you think Peridot’s therapy isn’t working out?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… I don’t know. I just feel that this isn’t over, you know what I’m saying?”

“That’s not unusual. It happened quickly and ended abruptly. Sometimes we feel like there’s something more. After the trauma, we can’t come to accept that it’s over.”

“God, I hope so,” Lapis replied.

“Get some dinner in you,” Topaz said, “Then we’ll try to see how we can get through this.”

The three made their way to Beach Citywalk Fries; while across town, Bell was shopping at a security store.

“This is a bad idea,” she thought to herself.

She was browsing knives. There were so many: switchblades, butterfly knives, Swiss army knives, karambits. She knew she shouldn’t do this. What would Yana think if she brought a knife into the dorm? 

“She’d probably chock it up to me being paranoid again,” Bell thought bitterly, “Paranoid Bell jumping at shadows again. Can’t make any useful decisions.”

Bell still thought about that night, Peridot alone with a knife wielding monster. Defenseless and at the mercy of a particularly cruel predator. There needed to be something done about this. She kept going through the rows of knives on the shelf. So many different weapons, so many ways to hurt someone. 

_Perfect_

Whatever fears Bell had that brought her thoughts to self-defense were being fanned by Alexa. It was good to finally rearm herself, to make sure she had a little extra bit of coercion should she need it. Even beyond the need for a knife, Alexa needed to prove something. She could get Bell to do all of this, to act against her fears and apprehensions and have her obey. Doing this was proof that Alexa was getting more and more control. Soon she’d be able to move her like a puppet, slip her limbs into Bell’s like a glove.

Alexa’s thoughts turned dark again. Her thoughts weren’t visible to Bell, but the feelings they elicited were. Bell felt angry, and in reaction to that anger she felt scared. It was like her mood was pin balling all week. The intrusive thoughts, the sudden bursts of anger, the paranoia, it was all getting worse. She didn’t know what was wrong. Was she sick? Was she having a nervous breakdown? No, no, she’d had a nervous breakdown already, this wasn’t that bad. Was it thought? Was her mind trying to downplay what was happening to her? Or was she trying to exaggerate herself in a desperate way to get attention? Try to make them all feel sorry for her when Peridot was the one who really needed sympathy. 

Bell was disgusted with herself, angry that she felt like such an attention whore with all of her troubles. Getting Lapis to worry about her like that, how pathetic!

Alexa smiled inwardly at this train of thought. It wasn’t that hard to push Bell into these self-defeating thought patterns. After a while it was almost second nature; all she had to do was direct the train of thought a certain way and Bell’s mind would do the rest. She was so close now to full control. She could make her tattoo appear at will at any point now.

Soon. Soon. Alexa thought. She thought about what she could do, walking around with a face that nobody suspected, that everyone trusted. That Peridot trusted. God the thought of it excited her. She could be so close to the girl now; it would be so easy to lead her somewhere where no one would see. So easy to convince her to come, so easy with all the faith she was willing to put into Bell. It was that moment she was looking forward to the post, the moment where she’d make her move and Peridot would realize the betrayal. She could picture it in her mind right now. The look of hurt, the look of fear. She wouldn’t know what to do, seeing the mother figure she’d built up in her mind come down on top of her. This would break her. This would be the final act that would make her so utterly helpless. Alexa could see it now, taking Peridot right there and then, the face and body of one of the people she trusted the most, hurting her. She couldn’t wait.

Bell felt a chill run down her spine. She was privy to none of the vivid details of Alexa’s fantasies, but their presence made her uneasy. There was something there, something she knew well to be afraid of, but she couldn’t quite see it. It was frustrating, feeling this looming sense of dread and awfulness over her, but powerless to do anything. 

Alexa grabbed that fear and that uncertainty. She planted a single thought into her head.

“It’s ok to be afraid. But you need to do something about it. The worst could potentially happen and you need to be ready. That’s why we need to buy the knife.” 

Bell believed the thought came from her own head, and reluctantly bought a switchblade. The legal part of her mind was annoyed at this act. She had a concealed weapon on her now, there was so much that could go wrong. Why in god’s name did the state decide to repeal the laws on them? But those thoughts weren’t enough to stop her. She put her deadly purchase into her bag and left the store.

_This is gonna be a lot of fun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ronaldo would totally go to bat for Sailor Moon SuperS. Ronaldo is the worst character to ever come out of Steven Universe solely because of this belief of mine. You cannot convince me otherwise.


	10. Helpful Chats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis has an important talk.

Lapis munched away at her fries and stared out across the ocean. The three had ordered their food and found a nice bench on the boardwalk to sit and eat. The sun had since set and Lapis could see the gibbous moon’s reflection across the ocean. Behind them a few tourists and locals went about their business, chatting, texting, eating, etc. It was peaceful and Lapis enjoyed the familiar feeling. It was nice here, Topaz sitting between them, Beach City making the noises it was most comfortable with.

“I’m just saying,” Roxy said between bites of her turkey burger, “Steven’s dad’s got a great voice. Even in those weirdo commercials, it comes through so well.”

“Of course,” Topaz said, “Steven gave me a few CD’s of his a while back.”

“That’s so cool,” Roxy said.

“I can probably get him to sign something for you if you’d like,” Topaz said, “He’s easy enough to find.”

“Yeah, he owns a carwash,” Lapis said, “Peridot and I helped out there once. It was fun.”

“I don’t deserve to have my car washed by someone as great as him,” Roxy said.

“Does anyone?” Topaz asked.

“I think he’s rich or something,” Lapis said, “Something to do with royalties. That pale music kid’s dad had to pay up.”

“Well, it’s good he’s still doing what he likes,” Topaz said.

“Yeah,” Lapis said.

“So, Lapis,” Roxy said, looking around Topaz at her, “I know you like swimming and all, you ever think about giving the swim team a look?”

“Nah,” Lapis said, “Too many obligations, too many people relying on me. It’d suck letting them down.”

“You shouldn’t immediately think you’ll let them down,” Topaz said, “Thinking like that’s a surefire way to failure.”

“Yeah,” Lapis said, “But honestly that’s a problem I’ve always had. I hate when other people have to rely on me. There’s just this pressure that’s there but nobody talks about. And then you’ve messed up and they’re hurt and it wasn’t their fault, y’know? It was yours, because they relied on you, they chose to include you as this sort of pillar. And you can feel that failure coming up down the road. It’s this inevitability that you’re going to have to get to, where you’re going to have to look at them and say you’ve failed, and they’ve failed too because they made themselves rely on you of all people. Sometimes when they need you, you just can’t be the help that they deserve much less the help that they need.”

Lapis stopped when she realized the other two were looking at her with concern in their faces.

“Hey, I’m just saying,” Lapis said, trying to laugh it off.

She realized her attempts to play it off as a joke weren’t working. 

“Is this like some kind of group project?” Roxy asked, “Because it can be hard when all that pressure is there, and you don’t know what to do, and it all piles up, and your scrambling for that deadline, and-”

“Well,” Topaz said, cutting Roxy off, “I think you’re being too ungenerous with yourself. Maybe they feel the same way? They too are worried that they’ll disappoint you, that you’ll feel hate them for not being able to live up to expectations. Perhaps those expectations that you and they project are mostly in your own heads; the panic you feel, the self-criticism that’s hurting you instead of helping you. You focus too much on the negatives and on your potential for failure that you set yourself up for it. You’re so geared toward thinking you’re selfish for something so understandable. You want to feel good with them, you want them to feel good with you. You want them to value you. You want them to tell you that you aren’t a drain on their wellbeing. Wanting that reassurance isn’t selfish and neither is wanting someone to rely on.”

“Are you guys talking about group projects still?” Roxy asked.

Topaz looked down at Lapis. Lapis could see it on her face, that knowing look. Topaz was smiling, not in a way that was patronizing, but in a way, that was comforting. Topaz put an arm on her shoulder.

“They value you,” she said, simply.

Lapis looked up at her. Maybe there was something inherently selfish about thinking she was selfish. Maybe-

She crushed that train of thought where it was. No use going down a confusing self-loathing mental tirade again. Instead she thought on Topaz’s words. It was ok for her to feel this way, but she had to be better - no she was better than this. 

“Y-yeah,” Lapis said, “Thanks Topaz.”

The three finished up their meals. Lapis thought on Topaz’s words. Their conversations took a lighter turn; Roxy talked about undersea volcanos and Topaz shared an anecdote she had about a letter she’d received from a secret admirer. She wondered who it was, and Lapis had to bite her tongue. She had been asked to proofread it after all, but she couldn’t tell Topaz that. It was a good night honestly. The perfect pick-me-up Lapis needed. They departed from the bench and headed for the bus stop. Lapis hoped Bell had made it home ok. She’d drop by Amethyst and Peridot’s dorms to say hi, it’d be nice to see them after a night like this, and Peridot was usually pretty drained after a session with the therapist. Things felt better right now, better than they’d been in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Who sent that love letter?](http://drawbauchery.tumblr.com/post/163010212072)


	11. Getting Ready To Go Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa's got one last thing to do.

It was raining the next day. Bell watched the water drops banging against the window, their rhythms comforting. She looked at herself in the mirror; she looked a wreck. Her eyes had bags under them, her hair was disheveled and her increasingly erratic sleeping patterns were starting to show. She felt awful, but Alexa felt better than ever. Every second of fatigue brought her closer and closer to control. Even now, Bell’s body moved to Alexa’s will as she had her strip. The tattoo was visible on her arm now in full. Bell idly traced the lines of the gem, it’s meaning and the danger behind it locked behind a fog that had entered her mind.

She felt tired; tired and sad. There were things she was worried about, things she knew posed a danger, but the thoughts strayed just out of reach. It was almost like her brain was mocking her, laughing as she stumbled through her morning. She was naked now, looking at herself in the mirror and she didn’t know why. She took the hand from her arm and touched her breast. Alexa tapped the point where the knife had entered her; pierced through her chest, went between her ribs, and punctured her lungs. It was a painful death, she vividly remembered stuttering and the helplessness that came with drowning in one’s own blood. 

In this body, she was fine. The skin was unbroken and she took a deep breath to appreciate her new lungs. She felt amazing.

She picked up the knife she had purchased and deployed it. The light from her lamp caught the blade and made it glimmer. It was a nice knife; beautiful and dangerous just like she was. If Carnelian were here she’d laugh at her for such a line. For a moment, she thought about cutting Bell’s wrists with the knife, letting her lay on the bed and come to the realization that she’d killed herself. What would Bell do then? She’d try to fight her, to get help, but Alexa was in control now, and she’d just restrain her. She’d hold her down while she struggled and let them bleed out. Bell couldn’t fight her now. 

She sighed. She could feel through Bell’s fingers, taste through her mouth, live through her life. Alexa was in control now. She stared at Bell’s nude form in the mirror. She was attractive, Alexa had to admit. Not to Peridot’s level, but she’d be damned if she hadn’t thought about the law student in a similar way. She began to get dressed, throwing on a raincoat over her arm and fishing out her shoes. She’d opted to leave in a short sleeve shirt, perhaps not ideal for the cold weather, but perfect for her. She could feel the chill on her body now, her sense of touch was now perfectly in line with Bell’s. The cold was proof positive that she was alive and she wouldn’t throw that away for anything. She was almost ready to enact her plan, there was just one last stop that had to be made. She pocketed the knife and headed to the door, all the while thinking what she’d do to them.

Beyond Peridot there was Amethyst, and Alexa imagined her lying prone in front of her. She’d trust Bell enough to let her guard down, Alexa figured that much. Lapis would be harder, but she wasn’t as strong as Amethyst. Even in Bell’s body, she was confident she could over power her. Amethyst would be helpless for her, but Lapis would be defiant, hissing and cursing. It would hurt with Lapis much more, and that thought brought a spring into Alexa’s step.

Then there was Peridot. When Alexa got to her it would be the moment of truth, a time to finish what she’d started. Sure, she could just abandon this whole charade and go on living in this new body, but she’d sunk so much into Peridot for there to not be a result. She’d make Peridot hers, one way or another. She could see it now, Peri would never suspect her of anything untoward, and she’d let her in. Alexa couldn’t wait to get her alone and stick Bell’s tongue down her mouth, god the look on her face. That horror, that hurt, that would make it all worth it.

Alexa collected an umbrella as she left and headed down the hall. It was almost time, she was so close. She wondered who she’d get to first, Peridot most likely. Her thoughts were interrupted by someone calling Bell’s name.

She turned to see Yana walking up the hall to her, concerned as usual. This was getting annoying.

“Bell, there you are,” Yana said.

“Yes, I’ve been in our room, I was truly out of sight,” Alexa replied via Bell, sarcastically.

“Is there something wrong?” Yana asked.

“No,” Alexa/Bell answered.

“Don’t give me that, I know something’s happened,” Yana said.

Alexa was on her guard then. Surely Yana didn’t know what was happening, it was probably just some kind of natural concern.

“I’ve been fine,” she said, cautiously.

“Look, I don’t know what happened,” Yana said, “I don’t know if it was me, or if it’s this thing with Peridot, or if it’s something to do with class, or whatever. But I need you to talk to me.”

_God she’s almost pleading, how pathetic._

Yana stood there, arms crossed, staring at Bell. The ball was in Alexa’s court now, it was up to her to respond. She needed to diffuse this situation, to quell Yana’s suspicions before this could escalate.

“Look,” Yana continued (clearly the ball wasn’t as in Alexa’s court as she thought), “Something’s bothering you, something’s happened. I know it’s been a hard month, and I know I can be hard to be around, but you’re in a rut and I want to help. Does- does this have something to do with the creamed corn?”

_Enough with the fucking creamed corn! God Fucking Damnit let it go, you blonde bitch!_

She looked at Yana, now she was waiting for a response. Maybe some kind of admission, some kind of cry fest where they’d talk over their problems like some kind of married couple. God the thought was so saccharine.

_Think damnit, think! I can lie my way out of this, I just know it._

“I-,” Alexa/Bell started to say, desperately searching for words

_Come on damnit, think of a good excuse._

“I, uhhh,”

Think harder!

“I no longer find you sexually desirable,” Alexa/Bell said, flatly.

“What?” Yana asked, confused.

_What?!_

“What?” Bell asked, the strangeness of the statement temporarily making her consciousness rise to the surface.

_That was even worse than the shirt comment! And I said this one by my damn self. God, I thought I was smarter than this! The hell was I thinking?_

“Ohhkaaay,” Yana said, slowly, “Look, I know you’re sleep schedule has been screwed up, but-”

“It’s true,” Alexa said, she thought of this lie and she’d be damned if she wasn’t sticking to it, “You’re no longer the attractive woman I married. The spark has faded and you’ve dulled… like a penny that’s no longer pretty. The site of you brings me shame, and I’ve not been able to commit to you.”

You know what? This lie is better than I thought.

“And you’re sure you’ve been getting enough sleep?” Yana asked, “This whole thing isn’t some elaborate joke?”

“You’re lack of upkeep is the only joke here,” Bell responded, “I’ve given so much of myself to you, wasted so many of my good years. It’s pathetic really. God to think of all the more attractive women I could have gone to instead of tethering myself to someone as gauche as you.”

Yana just stared at her.

_That’s it! I’ve done it! I’ve wanted to hurt a lot of people, and I couldn’t quite figure out how to get to you. This is it! This is revenge for the tongue in my mouth! I’ve always wanted to be a heartbreaker, to-_

Yana started to laugh.

“Stop laughing!” Bell snapped.

“Holy shit, you had me going there,” Yana said, bringing a hand to her mouth, “Jesus, I almost thought you were on drugs or something. Like gauche? Really? What did you take a creative writing class or something?!”

_Fuck you! Gauche is a perfectly acceptable word. I don’t know what it means, but it was probably acceptable here._

“Oh Bell,” Yana patted her on the shoulder, “Jeez, I was really worried for a moment. Man, I thought you were going to like drop an affair on top of me or something.”

_Fuck. Should have gone with the affair excuse._

“Hah! But seriously, is there something the matter?” Yana asked, “The whole gauche bit is one thing, but you seem to have been upset all week. I don’t want to force you to-”

Yana stopped speaking and looked down at Bell’s arm. The hand she’d placed on her wife’s shoulder had drawn her eye and looking now, she could see an image on Bell’s skin. There on her arm was a purple tattoo of a gemstone. It seemed to stare up at her, an evil little mark that shouldn’t have been there. Yana had thought she’d seen it before but every time she’d checked, it had just vanished. But now, now she could see it clear as day. She’s seen this tattoo before on a certain someone that they all knew to avoid.

“Bell?” she asked, cautiously, drawing her eyes up to meet her wife’s, “When did you get that tattoo?”

Bell glanced down, and back up again, “It’s a temp,” she said, “Trying out a new look.”

“It looks like… you know who’s,” Yana said.

“I’m just experimenting with a style,” Bell said, Alexa desperately piecing together a plausible story.

“There’s some things I need to do,” Bell continued, “Yana, I know I may have seemed off lately, but it’s all part of something I’m putting together. I’m sorry, I’ll explain later, but it needs to be done.”

“I can help you,” Yana said, more serious now, “Whatever it is, I can help. Just talk to me Bell. We’ve never had a problem with communication before.”

“I will,” Bell said, “Don’t worry, I will. I’m going to need you soon. And when that comes, I’ll be sure to tell you everything.

Bell leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

“Just trust me ok?”

“Ok,” Yana said, with a sigh, “I trust you.”

Bell smiled, and clapped Yana on the shoulder.

“Thanks, I always know I can count on you,” she said.

Bell took her leave then. She disentangled herself from Yana and made her way to the exit. She gave Yana one last wink as she got into the elevator and headed down.

_God-damn that was hard._

Alexa couldn’t believe she’d managed to pull off that bluff. She’d had to actually kiss the poor bitch, but that was worth it. She bought that drivel hook, line, and sinker. God, married people were so damn trusting, it’s so sad. That’s why people can cheat so easily. Regardless, she’d bought herself sometime. Yana would be waiting for whatever cue she was expecting, and her suspicions would be at bay, for now at least.


	12. The Long Bus Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa catches up with an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains attempted sexual assault.

Bell watched the grey scenery speed past the bus window. The rain was still coming down hard and belted itself against the window. She idly tracked the running droplets as the bus turned another corner. Outside the streets were mostly empty. It was the late afternoon and everyone needed to get in doors because of the rain. She sighed, her breath fogging the window a bit.

_I shouldn’t do this._

That thought wasn’t of course about the deeply disturbing evening she was planning with Peridot, but rather the task she was fixated on now. The bus would take her to a destination she really didn’t want to go to, but she needed this.

_I need to do this. Goddamnit, I need to do this. Don’t pussy out Alexa._

The bus slowed to a stop and the recording announced the destination. Nobody got on or off and the driver quickly closed the door and drove on. She was a few stops away from where she needed to go. She’d thought the same thing at all of them: to get off, to not go through with this, to just go back home. It was a tempting thought. Alexa sighed through Bell again and began idly drawing a sad face on the foggy window. She wouldn’t turn away.

The bus stopped again and this time a figure actually managed to hop on. They flashed a student ID at the driver and moved to the back, removing the raincoat hoodie they had on. With the blue hair and raindrop tattoo, Alexa recognized the new passenger; it was her old “friend” Aquamarine. Aqua had her default annoyed bitch face on and she trudged over to a chair to sit down. Nobody else was on the bus except them, the driver, and Mr. Frowny who sat near the front.

Alexa glared over at Aquamarine. She’d thought she could trust Aqua, but the short girl was a snake just like Carnelian. She’d betrayed Alexa’s trust and left her, some friend she was. Alexa ground Bell’s teeth just thinking of the memory. They’d had so many good times together, exchanging pick-up lines, giving dating advice, chatting about all the cute girls on campus. But Aqua thought she was too good for her and began to drift away. 

_As if she could claim any moral high ground against me._

Alexa had Bell get up from the seat and walk over to Aquamarine. It was time for a chat.

“Hey,” Alexa said, via Bell.

Aquamarine was browsing the internet on her phone, and looked up, annoyed.

“What do you want?” she asked, icily.

_Pleasant as ever._

Bell plopped herself down next to Aqua, much to the smaller girl’s continued annoyance.

“Hello Aqua? Long time no see,” Bell said.

Aquamarine narrowed her eyes at the taller girl. There was an odd familiarity in this interaction that she and Bell had never had.

“Look, I don’t know what you want or anything,” Aqua said, “But I still don’t give a shit about your relationship advice.”

“You never really had the taste for it,” Bell said with a shrug, “I thought you did. I really thought you weren’t such a stick in the mud, but impressions aren’t always correct.”

This really threw Aqua for a loop. Bell’s informality was one thing, but straight up insulting her with such little provocation was unheard of.

“The hell?” she asked, surprised.

“Oh yeah,” Bell/Alexa said, sighing with the knowledge that Aqua was only interacting with the person she could see, “Well, can’t help that, can we?”

“What are you talking about?”

Bell looked ahead, cockiness in her expression gone. 

“This bus route ends at the cemetery, you know?” Bell said, more solemn than she’d previously sounded.

“And?”

“I’m going to visit a grave.”

“How morbid,” Aqua said, rolling her eyes, “Trying a goth look now are we?”

“You remember the girl that died over a month ago?” Bell continued, “You and she were pretty close, weren’t you?”

Aqua immediately went on guard at that comment.

“What about it?” she asked, slowly.

“Have you visited Alexa’s grave?” Bell asked, monotonously, “Have you paid any respects? Did you even have the guts to acknowledge her after all the time you spent together?”

“The fuck do you care?” Aqua snapped.

“Did you?”

“No! Fuck no! I’m done with her. She was a bastard and it took too long for me to realize that!” Aqua snapped.

Bell snarled at that.

“Of course,” she said, acidly, “You thought you were better, didn’t you? As if all the shenanigans you got up to made you better than her? As if you had some kind of moral compass? We both know you were seeking out that high horse just so you could look down from it.”

Aquamarine didn’t know whether she should be furious or shocked. Bell was out of line, but just hearing her say these things was stunning. How dare she? More importantly _how_ dare she. How the hell did she speak with such familiarity to hers and Alexa’s relationship? Why did she care.

“But we both know you would have done the same if you were in my shoes. If you had the same opportunity,” Bell said.

Aqua’s anger and confusion made her too frustrated to respond to that.

“But that’s in the past now,” Bell continued, “You were an awful friend and you desperately want to make yourself into the wronged party. Well, not anymore. I’ve got another chance and I’m going through with it this time.”

“What the _fuck_ are you talking about?” Aqua asked, baffled at the conversation.

Bell rolled up her coat sleeve and showed off the purple gem tattoo to Aquamarine.

“I’m back,” she said with a predatory grin, “Not even death could stop me.”

Aqua stared at the tattoo, it’s significance dawning on her quickly. She looked at it, and then back to Bell’s face, and then back to the tattoo. The bus made another announcement at the stop it made, but both ignored it.

“Wha?” Aqua said, her mind slowly coming to a realization.

In that moment, Aqua realized that this was all a joke. An exceptionally lame joke that overstayed it welcome by a long shot. Bell was pretending she was Alexa… why?

“That’s… not funny,” Aqua said, confusion and surprise in her voice, “Jesus Bell. That’s worse than anything Rob Schneider or Dane Cook could ever come up with… what the hell?”

It was Bell’s turn to be exasperated.

“No you dumb bimbo,” she said, annoyed, “It’s me! I came back. I was in a picture, and then she picked up the picture and I’m inside of her now. I’ve been beating her down for the past few weeks so I could take control. And now she’s all mine. The Tattoo manifested because of some magic ghost bullshit I can do!”

Aqua looked stunned. How long could Bell keep this lame duck joke running? My god it was awful, the worse cringe comedy she’d ever listened to.

“Ooookay, Bell,” Aqua said, concerned but able to lace her comment with enough of a sardonic edge.

“It’s true!” Bell/Alexa exclaimed, realizing that what she said did in fact sound coo-coo-bananas.

“Suuure,” Aqua said, “I’m sorry, I’m not playing into this. This is lame, and as someone who cycles through gigabytes of bad pick-up lines, I know when a joke fails.”

“Fuck it, fine,” Bell said, “Here’s how you know it’s me. Why we stopped talking.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Aqua said, pulling out her phone again, eager to tune Bell out.

“A little over two months ago, campus bar near closing, both of us trying to make a move on Skye,” Bell said.

Aqua’s head immediately whipped toward Bell. Now she had the smaller girl’s attention.

“Remember?” Bell asked, a sneer evident in her voice if not her face, “She was in one of those sad moods she’s usually in. That shrinking violet shtick of hers was always cute. She was moping about, and we were trying to cheer her up. I was thinking about taking a break from Peri then.”

Alexa could see it then. There was realization taking hold in Aquamarine’s eyes.

“We knew she couldn’t push us away,” Bell continued, “She’s too docile for that kind of shit. She’s easy to shove around, that’s why we were there. You were making some comment about her blue hair, I was putting my hand on her thigh. I could see she was getting uncomfortable, but she’d never have it in her to tell me to stop.”

Alexa was able to recall ever detail as clear as crystal. From Aqua’s lame lines, to Skye’s discomfort, to the texture of Skye’s jeans under her hand, to the burning she felt in her crotch, that familiar want. She wanted to paint that scene as visibly as possible.

“It was so simple. She had to have been the easiest mark ever,” Bell/Alexa continued, “This was the beginning of a good night. You and me, we coulda had her!”

Aqua remembered that night. She had forgotten what she had said to Skye then, but she remembered Alexa getting handsier and handsier. 

“Skye barely put up a struggle,” Alexa continued, “Remember? She looked like she was gonna cry. Fuck that was cute.”

Aqua had always found her cute, and Alexa found her even cuter when that look of fear and desperation was in her eyes. It had been the same deal with Peridot. Alexa could wax philosophical about how pretty they both were and she fully believed that, but control was a big thing especially when she went after girls like Skye.

“Getting her into the bathroom was easy,” Bell continued.

Alexa had told Skye to stand up, just whispered it into her ear. There was a command in her tone of voice and Skye did as she was told. They’d lead her across the mostly empty bar into the bathroom. Aqua remembered being surprised at how easy that had been for her to go with them. After the incident, Aqua always wondered what Skye’s home life had been like. The girl was like a fragile twig and was scared of conflict more than anything else. If you looked at her wrong she would probably say sorry. Loud noises made her shrink away and raised voices always brought out an especially pained reaction.

“We got her into the bathroom, nobody was there. I got the door locked and she wasn’t going to try anything dumb, we knew that.”

Aqua had her doubts about the whole thing, especially when she saw how miserable Skye had been. When Alexa unbuttoned her jeans, Skye began to cry and that’s when Aqua put a stop to it. She’d pulled Alexa off Skye, unlocked the door, and sent her away. She told her to go home and forget about the night. Later on, Aqua realized that there would be little to no consequences for their actions, something that Alexa had realized as soon as she’d laid eyes on Skye. Skye wouldn’t go to the police, she wouldn’t tell anyone; it wasn’t in her nature. She’d never want that kind of attention nor to challenge anyone. 

“Remember what you did?” Bell asked, anger in her voice, “It wasn’t that you killed the mood, but that you wanted to play hero right there. You wanted to be all savior like and rescue your little damsel from the big bad Alexa, didn’t you?”

“It... it really is you, isn’t it?” Aqua asked, stunned, “You really came back.”

“Hell yeah,” Bell said, “I’m back for the bitch that killed me. And when I’m done with her, you bet you and I will have some catching up to do.”

When Aqua sent Skye out the door, she and Alexa had fought. Aqua said that Carnelian was right, Alexa really was a monster. Alexa was angry at Aqua ruining the moment. Skye didn’t say no after all. She accused Aqua of egotistically deluding herself into pretending she was some kind of hero. Aqua countered that what Alexa was doing was wrong, no matter what she thought of Aqua’s motives. Their friendship was always strained and this wasn’t the first time Aqua voiced her problems with Alexa’s “behaviors,” but that was the night it collapsed completely. Aqua had left in a huff (making sure Skye had gone home), and deleted Alexa from her phone and social media accounts. From then until Alexa’s death they hadn’t even spoken.

Aqua just stared at her, eyes wide. She couldn’t believe it, yet nobody else could have known about that night. Alexa wouldn’t have told anyone, much less Bell, and she doubted Skye would have. Even if they had, Bell would never commit to a joke like this.

“How?” Aqua asked.

Bell sat back and blew out a stream of air.

“I don’t know,” she replied truthfully, “I had no idea about life after death, and yet here I am. I got into Bell’s head somehow, and now I’m the one in control.”

“Why did you tell me this?” Aqua asked, her mind reaching all sorts of conclusions.

“I hate what you did,” Alexa said, “I thought we were friends and you threw us away.”

Alexa was angry then, but even beyond her anger she was hurt.

“I liked you Aqua,” Alexa continued, “Fuck I thought we’d last past college. I thought we’d drop Carnelian and cruise the club scene as single twenty-somethings. I thought you were my friend. I thought-”

“You still don’t see anything wrong with what you did, don’t you?” Aqua asked, her face down and her voice low.

“What’s up with you?” Alexa asked, exasperated, “She’s not here Aqua, she’s not going to think you’re-”

“You really don’t do you?” Aqua said, turning to her, angry, “You would have kept going, wouldn’t you? Alexa, she was crying in a bathroom we pushed her into. She didn’t want to be there. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

“I didn’t hear her say no,” Alexa responded, realizing that she and Aqua really were done.

“You heard Peridot say no. Look where that got you,” Aqua said, her words deliberately made to sting.

“You know, you’re a real bitch,” Alexa said.

“And you’re disgusting,” Aqua replied.

“Whatever,” Alexa said, standing up, “My stop’s coming up anyway.”

Aqua watched her, repulsed but also afraid. What did this resurrection mean? What would happen now.

“Oh yeah,” Alexa said through Bell, “If I were you I wouldn’t bother saying anything. A story about how a dead girl came back and possessed the body of a person that has waaaaay more credibility than you… well I doubt anyone would believe anything you had to say.”

The bus made its stop at the cemetery and Bell walked off. She turned her back on Aqua, in more ways than one, and passed the still sleeping Mr. Frowney.

She stepped out to into the rain and raised her umbrella, the cemetery in full view. She spared one last look at Aqua, the smaller woman watching her from where she sat. Talking to her had been a mistake. Whatever used to be there well and truly was gone. Alexa turned back to the graveyard and walked toward it, the bus pulling from its stop and disappearing down the road into the grey rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here's a comic about what Aquamarine and Alexa's relationship was like](http://drawbauchery.tumblr.com/post/162853539722/proposal-human-8xa-and-aqua-team-up-to-get-peri).
> 
> [Here's what Aqua was talking about Bell and relationship advice](http://drawbauchery.tumblr.com/post/165177470447/oop).


	13. Therapy Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Aquamarine has her shocking reveal, Peridot is off at her therapists, musing on the past.

“Yeah, the week’s been good,” Peridot said.

She was in Vidalia’s office. It was a calming environment, a small fountain rhythmically set the mood, the armchair she sat in faced Vidalia’s. There was a desk to their right against the wall and next to a file cabinet. A coffee table separated the pair, and on it was a bottle of water and box of tissues a necessity for this line of work. 

Across from Peridot, Vidalia sat, smiling encouragingly and writing on a pad. She was sitting in her mom jeans and loose baggy long sleeves, her blonde hair in that same Onion shape it always was.

“Sleep’s been better,” Peridot continued, “I’m having other dreams now, not just ones about her. They haven’t stopped, but there’s less of them.”

Vidalia nodded, and continued writing on her pad.

“How about the doubts?” Vidalia asked.

“Still there, I guess,” Peridot replied.

“Are the panic attacks still an issue?” Vidalia asked.

“There never were too many of them,” Peridot replied, “I just got like one or two.”

“A small number is still a number,” Vidalia answered, evenly, “They’re no less of an issue.”

“I did what you said though, the breathing, the recognizing, focus object, happy place, etc.” Peridot said, “I think it worked.

“That’s good,” Vidalia said, “How about school?”

“I’m getting back into my studies,” Peridot said, “Things have been picking up. I’m getting back into the classes. The teachers were really lenient, but it’s good to be back at a regular pace y’know?”

“Of course,” Vidalia said, “I remember you saying that you were uncomfortable about them having to treat you specially.”

“Yeah, it’s so frustrating. It’s seeing them all go out of their way for me and I know they’re all just thinking about how sorry they are. ‘Oh, you poor thing.’ 

“Do you think this attitude is still there even after this month?” Vidalia asked.

“Kinda? I still think it is, but people aren’t trying to handle me with kid gloves.”

“Do you feel that it might have a value?” Vidalia said, “Events like this can cause trauma triggers and I expect they don’t want to trigger you.”

“Yeah, but the nightmares, and the panic, and the paranoia, they can’t cause any of that. As long as they’re not coming up to me and trying to talk about it, it’s fine. Just stop with the pity.”

Vidalia continued to write. They’d had this conversation in several different sessions. Peridot was acutely aware of the idea that people were taking pity on her and she hated it. It was understandable, it can feel like her peers were infantilizing her. In part, it was clear that Peridot tended to project a lot and her paranoia could end up dictating things that weren’t there. Conversations often drifted to this topic or the fear that she was being a burden to her girlfriends and friends. Self-destructive thinking was something that Vidalia was trying to coax her away from.

“But honestly everything’s getting better. It feels like we’re going back to normal, kind of. Bell’s been acting really weird lately, but law school can be a huge pain so I think it’s just stress. I still think Lapis and Amethyst feel guilty about it all, and I feel guilty that they feel guilty, and they probably feel guilty knowing I’m thinking that. It’s a spiral of shitty feelings, isn’t it?”

Vidalia smiled at that, Peridot recognizing and laughing at self-destructive behaviors was a step in the right direction.

“But it’s good to be back with everyone. I used to really not look forward to hanging out with them. I’d set up something fun and just dread it the days leading up. But now, now I’m feeling it again.”

“You mentioned that you have a limit to how much you socialize. Your meter, for lack of a better word, that you expend in public settings and charge up in private ones.” Vidalia said, Peridot nodding at the familiar metaphor, “Has that been getting better? From what you’re saying it sounds like you can stay social a lot longer.”

Peridot took a drink from the water bottle before responding, “I’d say that’s true. I went to the boardwalk for a day out with Bell a few days back. Just us, it was fun. I felt like I could go the whole day without feeling tired and wanting to just go back to my bed. So… yeah, it’s been good.”

“You feel more comfortable around them?” Vidalia asked.

“Yeah, I mean I never felt _un_ comfortable, but I feel like we’re getting back to how we used to be,” Peridot replied.

“Has there been any other issues?” Vidalia asked, “Either with Bell or your partners?”

“We haven’t… y’know, been intimate since the incident,” Peridot admitted, a little embarrassed, “They haven’t said anything, and I’m glad for that really, but we all know that’s there.”

Vidalia nodded, writing that down.

“I don’t know,” Peridot said, leaning back in the chair, “After what happened, I just don’t know. I think sex sometimes, not hard, but I still do. I don’t feel that discomfort I did back when it happened, but I… I don’t know.”

“If you’re not ready, then that’s fine,” Vidalia said, “It sounds to me like they’re not going to rush you.”

“Heh, yeah. They’re the best,” Peridot replied.

“Is there anything else?” Vidalia continued, “Any other lingering doubts or problems you feel from how others treat you or the dreams?”

“I feel… better honestly,” Peridot said, “I feel like I’m in a better place now. I’m really glad for someone to talk to. You’ve helped me deal with a lot of the memories and the episodes. I feel like I’m breaking that cycle of misery and doubt that keeps fucking me up.”

Vidalia nodded again. Peridot did tend to blame herself and twist to accommodate others. This was an issue even before the incident. 

“Everything feels a bit brighter you know? Like I’m out of the woods,” Peridot said, smiling sadly at her last comment, just now realizing that its meaning was two-fold, “Man, I just hope Bell’s doing alright.”


	14. Graves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa visits her grave.

Bell made her way through the graves, umbrella raised high against the rain. The ground was starting to become muddy but there was enough gravel for traction. She passed every grave, not sparing them a look; she knew what she was there for.

Alexa wondered what she would do when she saw it. Would it give her a sense of peace? Would it freak her out? Probably. She wondered if seeing it would cause some paradox and cause her to pass on to another world. What would that be like? Would she return to that black void where she couldn’t feel anything? So many questions.

She moved on, and set her sights on the grave. Regardless, this was something she had to do. She doubted anyone had come here. Carnelian and Aqua wouldn’t mourn her, maybe Amethyst or Lapis would dance on the grave. Maybe they spat on her? Maybe Peridot showed up for a bit to grieve or find some “closure” or whatever. Maybe she finally apologized for all the torment Peridot had put her through.

Alexa could see the grave coming up into sight.

_Moment of Truth_

She walked in front of the grave and looked down. Sure, enough there was her name, her birth and death day. This was where she was. Underneath the soil and stones was her body, pumped full of embalming fluids and slowly decaying. She was under her feet now, unmourned. Alexa sighed through Bell. She shouldn’t have come here, there was no point. She didn’t have some new revelation about herself, only a grave marker. The rain noisily crashed against her umbrella as she stared at the marker.

In a dull part of Bell’s mind, Alexa could feel disgust. Bell wasn’t fully conscious, but she was registering the grave and her feelings for Alexa were bubbling up. Alexa replayed a few bad memories of Bell’s mother yelling at her over trivial things and that shut her up.

“What do I do now?” Alexa said out loud.

She had her plans to corner Peridot, but then what? Living in this woman’s body forever? Living life as a new person? She was dead and buried. She had nothing now, nothing to go back to, nothing to look forward to. She could feel herself starting to cry. There were so many ifs in her head. If only she’d been more careful, if only she’d not taken that chance, if only Peridot could have loved her back.

“Damnit,” she cursed.

What could she do then? Take Peridot, take her girlfriends, and then what? She was dead, what possible consequences could she face that could be worse? What possible benefits could she gain now that she was just a formless ghost. 

_I’m alone._

That thought was what nearly broke her. That thought nearly pushed her over the edge, to despair enough to give up. But it didn’t. That loneliness and the lack of finality clicked in her head. She didn’t have to be alone anymore. Peridot… she could be with Peridot for all of time now. All she’d have to do was make her into a ghost as well.

Alexa’s despair vanished. This… this was why she died. Now she and Peridot could be together for eternity. They could be forever now, two spirits entwined, undying and always. Peridot wouldn’t like being dead, but she’d get over it. She’d come around eventually; an eternity is a long time after all.

She’d enact her plan now. She’d get Peridot alone, make love to her as she was able and then kill her. She’d leave Bell behind, let her take the fall, and take Peridot’s spirit. Alexa didn’t exactly understand how that would happen, her death ended with her in a formless void, but to her it made sense. She could finally be with the girl she loved and that’s what was important.

She wiped her eyes and laid a hand on the gravestone, taking one last good look.

“Goodbye,” she said, and with that she turned her back on her body and her past.

She departed the graveyard for the bus stop. She dialed an Uber, she’d get back to campus in no time. This was the moment of truth. This was where it all was going to end.


	15. Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stunned at the revelations, Aqua tries to get the word out.

“Come on, come on,” Aqua said, her phone pressed to her ear.

For the last few bus stops, Aquamarine had sat in a stunned silence. She played their interaction in her head over and over, hoping to convince herself that she’d imagined it. Alexa really was back, she realized. The questions about life after death and spirits were pushed to the side by the sheer amount of dread she was feeling. She could feel it in her gut, that panic, that fear. She felt queasy. She didn’t know what to do. What could she do? 

Aqua accessed her phone contacts and selected Carnelian. Anxiously she counted the rings.

“One, two, come on Carnelian,” she thought.

“Hello?” came the answer from the other end.

“Oh, thank god,” Aqua said, sighing in relief, “Carnelian this is an emergency!”

“Like an emergency emergency, or like something minor that you think is an emergency?” Carnelian said, not sounding particularly interested, “Because I’m doing something important right now. Or self-important at least.”

“Oh, fuck off,” came a voice from somewhere on Carnelian’s side, Aqua recognizing it as Holly.

“No, this is big!” Aqua continued, revelations about Carnelian’s personal life shoved to the side with the notions of existentialism, “It’s Alexa, she’s not dead.”

“What?!” Carnelians said, sounding much more serious.

“Yeah!” Aqua replied, “She came back as a ghost and possessed Bell. I didn’t believe it at first but she knew things only Alexa would know. It has to be her!”

“What?” Carnelian said, “Slow down, she’s a ghost?”

“Yes, I know it sounds far-fetched, but I met her! I talked to her and she knew about that incident with Skye, you know the one? She recited it to me.”

“So… Skye told Bell? That’s… are you feeling ok?”

“I’m serious!”

“I believe you’re serious, I think maybe exams have gotten to you.”

“She told me! She came out and told me. I think she’s after Peridot again. I was on the bus and then she popped up and laid it all in front of me. And now I’m stuck and I need you to do something!”

Carnelian let a slow breath out. Aqua could be annoying sometimes… a lot of the time, but it was rare for her to be completely out of her head.

Aqua could a groan in the background, followed by Holly telling her to put the phone away. 

“Look, Aqua,” Carnelian began, slowly, “I don’t know what’s up with you, but-”

Carnelian was cut off and the call terminated. Aqua heard Holly yell “give me that” and presumably hung the phone up. Aqua let out a curse.

What now? Carnelian was one of the only people who would give her the time of day. The feeling in her stomach had moved to her throat. She felt like choking from all the stress. She pulled up Lapis’s number then, that was a bridge she hadn’t burnt yet.

Lapis picked up at the third ring.

“Aqua, what is it?” she asked, not necessarily annoyed, but not entirely welcoming either.

“Lapis, where are you right now?” Aqua asked.

“Big Donut, why?” Lapis responded.

“Lapis, this is really important,” Aqua said, trying not to sound as desperate as she had with Carnelian, “Something’s come up.”

Aqua’s mind began to reshape the story she wanted to tell. She couldn’t get across the ghost parts, Lapis’d just hang up on her. She needed to convey the urgency without sounding crazy.

“What’s happened?” Lapis asked, curious.

“You remember Alexa?” Aqua asked, “Well there’s someone else just like her. She’s really bad Lapis and she was talking about Peridot and Bell. I didn’t think she was anything dangerous, but she just talked to me about them and it… it was the way she talked about them. I know something bad’s going to happen.”

“Aqua,” Lapis said, measuring her words. “If what you’re saying is true. Are you completely sure?”

“Yes!” Aqua exclaimed, “Listen, I’m on a bus heading to the uni. I don’t know where Peridot and Bell are, but this is serious.”

“Who is it?” Lapis asked, her tone indicating that she believed Aqua, “Who’s after them?”

“You don’t know her,” Aqua said, “She’s tall, skinny, and awful. Looks kind of like Bell, not really from around campus. Just get to the university as soon as you can.”

“Should I call the cops?” Lapis asked.

“I don’t know,” Aqua said, “We’re running on a lot of maybes right now. Maybe she doesn’t do anything? Maybe it’s a false alarm, I don’t know. I just need you to find Peridot and make sure she’s ok.”

“I hope you’re not bullshitting me,” Lapis replied.

“I’m not, just help her,” Aqua said before terminating the call.

With that, Lapis got up from her table, said goodbye to Sadie, and jogged to the bus stop. She didn’t know whether to believe Aqua or not. Aqua sounded sincere and creating a false alarm like this didn’t seem her style. Her description of a threat was suspiciously vague though and Lapis didn’t know how trustworthy it was. Still, she pulled up Peridot on her cellphone and called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I conceived this fic, I really didn't have Aquamarine in mind as a key player, but hey it works.


	16. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot arrives home, and Bell is waiting for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throwing up another warning for sexual assault.

Peridot’s phone was on silent and in her bag, done to not disrupt her meeting with Vidalia. Peridot hadn’t remembered to take it out and put the volume back on. She sighed as she exited the dorm elevators. The session with Vidalia had gone well and it was good to finally be home. She looked into the common room, it was empty, as was the kitchen. It seemed that everyone was out.

She wanted to lie down and surf the internet or something. Therapy sessions tended to take a lot out of her. As she neared her room, she saw Bell come out of hers and wave her over.

“Back from Vidalia’s ey?” she said, smiling.

Peridot smiled back at her. She was tempted to make a comment about how bad Bell looked. Her face looked tired and gaunt. Her hair was disheveled but pulled into its ponytail to make it look less obvious. Peridot speculated that exams were clamping down on her and she was having a bad time of it. Bell never admitted to anything, just dismissing it as trouble sleeping.

“Hey Bell,” she said, “How’s the day been?”

“Oh, it’s been fine,” Bell said with a chuckle, “I know I’ve been out of sorts lately, but I just had a major breakthrough. I feel better than I have in a while honestly.”

“Yeah, me to,” Peridot admitted.

“Come over here, I’ve got something to show you!” Bell said, gesturing her head at the room.

Peridot followed her in as Bell continued.

“I didn’t know exactly what to do and I’ve been soul-searching a bit. I needed to find something, some answer to what I was going to do,” Bell said.

“And you found it?” Peridot asked as Bell closed the door behind them.

“I think I have,” Bell said with a smile, surreptitiously locking the door behind them, “It’s taken a while, but I think I’ve figured myself out. It’s so relieving you know?”

“Yeah,” Peridot said.

“How about you?” Bell continued, “You seem happier now.”

“I feel happier,” Peridot said, beaming, “I feel… I don’t know, freer? Like I’ve come out of a tunnel and I can see the sun again. It’s been rough, but it’s looking up.”

“I’m happy you think that,” Bell said.

“What did you want to show me?” Peridot asked, sitting on Bell’s bed.

She turned towards one of the discarded books that Bell had left on her bed.

“Oh, it’s a surprise,” Bell said, patting her pocket to feel the switchblade still in it.

That made the switchblade deploy itself right into her leg. 

“Gah,” she said, wincing at the pain.

Peridot looked up from the book she’d looked at to see Bell clutching her leg, her face contorted in pain.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

“Mmhmm,” Bell said, nodding and awkwardly trying to smile.

This really was not going well. Alexa tried to assess the situation. The element of surprise wasn’t completely lost just yet, but her main weapon was now stuck in an awkward position. She couldn’t draw it without alerting Peridot anymore. The blade itself hadn’t cut in too deep, it deployed downward and sliced through the pocket and across the skin. That wound wasn’t serious, but it was bleeding, a lot. Alexa could see the area on her pants start to darken with her blood. This wasn’t good.

Peridot was still looking at her, expectantly. Alexa could do this.

“Just close your eyes,” Bell said, forcing her voice to stay normal, “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

Peridot shrugged and did as she was told.

“No peeking now,” Bell continued, “This is because you’ve come so far over the past few months.”

Making sure Peridot had her eyes closed, Bell reached into her pocket and took the knife out, cutting herself further while doing so.

“Cheap piece of shit,” she thought.

Regardless, the knife and its purpose were for afterwards, now she had other things to do. She sat on the bed next to Peridot, the shift in weight alerting the smaller girl as to what was happening. Bell put the knife on the bed and brought her hands up to Peridot’s face.

Peridot flinched a bit at the contact, not quite happy with it but not objecting because it was Bell. With that, Bell held the sides of her face and leaned in, kissing her.

Peridot was shocked, especially when Bell’s tongue forced itself past her lips. Her eyes immediately shot open and she began to struggle. This was wrong, no no no no no no no no. Her mind was back at that night again, back in the woods, back with her. 

Peridot couldn’t push off the taller girl and soon Bell had roughly shoved her on the bed, pinning her. Peridot looked up at her in shock as Bell leered down at her. 

“Come on Peri, you don’t have to be so scared,” Bell said, “This’ll be fun. Just let me take the lead.”

Peridot entered full panic mode at that moment. She looked around franticly and her eye caught the mirror. That’s when she saw it. It was their reflection, but it wasn’t Bell on top of her. It was…

“Alexa!” Peridot screamed, her face mixing realization and horror.

Bell slapped Peridot across the face as an answer, and grabbed the bloody switchblade.

“You did it!” she exclaimed, beaming down at her, “I knew you were smart Peri! That’s one of your best traits.”

Bell had straddled her hips and smiled dementedly at her. She held the knife idly in her hand; it was casual but dangerous in a moment’s notice.

“I’m back,” Bell/Alexa said, “The shit you pulled couldn’t keep me down. And right now, you better shut up and listen or else.”

Bell casually twirled the knife in her hand. 

“H-how?!” Peridot said, the shock and fear just barely keeping her from screaming.

“How?” Alexa said, giving a mock pondering face, “I don’t know how. After you _murdered_ me I was just drifting in a void. Then I found Bell, and she let me in. I’ve been running her ragged until she let me take control. With her I could get this close to you. With her… I can do this.”

Alexa ran her free hand across Peridot’s chest, lightly squeezing a breast.

“I’m not going to lie Peri,” Alexa continued, “This is going to hurt. I want you to look at me in the fucking face while I do this. I want you to see Bell do this to you.”

She thrust the knife straight into the bed side table, burying it hard into the wood. With both hands free she held Peridot down while she leaned forward. She dragged Bell’s tongue across Peridot’s cheek lecherously. 

“Come to mommy.”


	17. Hurting You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The parties come together.

As soon as the bus arrived on campus Aqua sprinted out and made a beeline for the dorms. She needed to do something. The bus took so long to get there, had Alexa arrived already? Maybe she’d already gotten here and did the unthinkable? Aqua doubted Alexa would have told her all that if she wasn’t ready to make a move. She needed to find them as soon as possible. 

 

“So, T-Paz,” Amethyst said, arms behind her head, keeping pace with Topaz, “You versus Jasper, who wins?”

Topaz chuckled at that, “Jasper could take me down all days of the week.”

They’d just finished in the gym and were making their way back to the dorms. Topaz had offered to be her spotter and they’d had a fun time together. Amethyst was downright amazed at how much Topaz could bench, she’d outclassed Jasper and Garnet. After they’d left, Topaz had bought a glass bottle of coke and was calmly sipping from it.

“You sure?” Amethyst asked, “I mean, you are stronger than her.”

“Maybe,” Topaz replied, “But she’s the one with all of the fight training and she’s the one who knows how to wrestle. Strength’s got nothing if I don’t know how to properly use it.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Amethyst replied, remembering the few times she’d been able to subdue Jasper even though the girl was much bigger and stronger than her.

“I did do Pugil Stick Sparring a few times,” Topaz said, “I was quite good at that, but that’s usually not a sport big enough to get major funding or attention.”

“Eh,” Amethyst said, shrugging, “We can just buy some pugil sticks and see who can knock who over. It’ll be fun.”

The pair were almost at the dorms now, Amethyst saw that Lapis was at the entrance, listening to her phone. As soon as she saw the pair, she went over to Amethyst and said,

“There you are! Amethyst, I’ve been calling you!”

“Sorry Laz, I left my phone in the dorms while I went to the gym,” Amethyst said, “Something important come up?”

“Kind of? I think,” Lapis said without any certainty. 

Topaz and Amethyst looked at her curiously.

“It’s Aquamarine,” Lapis said, “She told me that Peridot has another stalker, and so does Bell.”

“And you believed her?” Amethyst asked, “Like… it’s Aquamarine, dude.”

“Look, I know Aqua and she can be an ass, but stringing people along for something like this just isn’t her style,” Lapis said.

“Oh yeah, what’s Aquamarine like?” Topaz asked, “I think she tries to avoid me. I don’t quite know why.”

Lapis deliberately chose not to answer that.

“Speak of the devil,” Amethyst said, gesturing with her head.

The three could see Aquamarine sprinting towards them. Aqua looked haggard and bent double when she got there, gasping for breath.

“Jeez Aqua, you alright?” Amethyst asked.

“Not. Important.” Aqua said between gasps for breath, “Peridot. Alexa. Stalker. Where, where’s Bell?”

“I haven’t seen her,” Lapis replied.

“Shit, we got to find them, what floor are they on?” Aqua asked.

 

“Stop! Please!” Peridot shouted, fighting against Bell.

Bell’s face was contorted into a manic grin as she struggled to keep Peridot under control. She hit the smaller girl across the face with her knuckles and pinned down one of her flailing arms with her elbow. Leaning down, she began kissing Peridot on the neck.

“You’re going to be with me soon,” Alexa said, “It’s going to hurt at first, just like what you did with me, but after that it’ll just be us. My spirit and yours, entwined for eternity.”

“No!” Peridot yelled, attempting to claw at her face but hesitating to actually hurt her.

She couldn’t hurt Bell, even as she was doing this to her. She didn’t want to.

“Help!” she screamed. “Help!”

“Nobody’s here!” Alexa spat, “Nobody’s coming.”

In spite of that, she wrapped her hands around Peridot’s neck, restricting her airways. No sense in letting anyone hear her, even if Alexa still believed they were alone.

“Bell!” Peridot choked out, “You’re hurting me… please, stop…”

“Just us,” Alexa continued, smiling down at Peridot’s now crying face, “Just you and me in the void. What we couldn’t be in life, we’ll be in death.”

Peridot futilely clawed at Alexa’s arms. The larger girl’s fingers were digging against her skin. She could feel her windpipe closing. Alexa persisted, wondering if she should skip the sex and just kill her already. Both immediately looked up as they heard the distinctive click of the door’s lock. 

The door swung open and Yana entered. She was listening to her iPhone, and looking down at the screen ignorant of any shouts from inside the room. As soon as she stepped in she looked up and stopped dead in her tracks.

She could see her wife on the bed, strangling one of their friends. Yana couldn’t even process it, and what was even weirder was the mirror’s reflection. Her eye was drawn to that and she could see in the mirror that it was Alexa on top of Peridot, trying to strangle her rather than Bell. The shock was still setting in and as Yana tried to understand it, Bell tore her knife from the dresser and bounded off the bed.

That connected in Yana’s head much quicker as she dropped her iPhone, the headphones yanked out of her ears by its weight. As Bell closed the gap, Yana grabbed the nearest heaviest object, a book on tax law, and yanked it up in front of her.

Bell was livid as she thrust the knife at her.

_NO NO NO NO NO NO! This wasn’t supposed to happen! We were supposed to be alone._

The knife buried itself into the thick tome of tax. As Bell/Alexa raged, it probably didn’t occur to her how little she’d thought this plan out. She had relied on a usually busy dorm to not have anyone in it, and Peridot’s screams to go unheard. Then again, if Alexa had been a good planner she’d not be dead. 

Yana twisted the book and pulled the knife out of Bell’s hand, and then slammed the spine of the tax book right in her face.

“Bell, what the fuck?!” she shouted, glancing at the mirror, “What the hell’s going on?”

“It’s Alexa!” Peridot rasped, sitting up in the bed and rubbing her throat, “She’s possessed her!”

Questions about how that was possible, how ghosts exist, how Alexa specifically came back, and their follow-ups were currently in the back of Yana’s mind as she swung at Bell again. She missed and the weight of the book and her inertia sent her stumbling forward. With that opening, Bell slammed into her and knocked them both to the floor.

“It was perfect!” she spat, “But you just had to ruin it again like you always did you blonde little slut.”

“Bell, I-” Yana started to say before a punch to the cheek shut her up.

“I’m sick and tired of you people getting in my way!” Bell screamed, “I wanted this to be perfect. This was my moment, my-”

Bell/Alexa was also interrupted by a blow to the head, this time from Peridot who’d gotten off the bed and grabbed a thick book on family court, the most depressing of judicial proceedings. Peridot swung again, slamming the book’s flat face onto the side of Bell’s head. Peridot winced, partly because her fingers had gotten in-between her attacker’s scalp and the book, and partly because inflicting harm to Bell just didn’t feel right. 

Alexa had no such hesitations and she sprang at Peridot again, tackling her to the ground.

“You think this will work?!” she spat. “I’ve got you Peri. You can fight, you can struggle, but you can’t stop me.

Peridot struggled against her as she once again tried to strangle the smaller girl. 

“Bell,” Peridot gasped out, “Fight her off, push back!”

“Bell isn’t here anymore!” Alexa screamed, “It’s just me, and soon it will just be us.”

Yana staggered to her feet a little dizzy from the hit. As she moved forward, the door swung open and knocked her down. Aquamarine, Lapis, Amethyst, and Topaz emerged, having heard shouting from when they’d left the elevator.

Amethyst reacted first, glancing at Bell on top of Peridot, then glancing at the mirror, showing Alexa. Amethyst grabbed Topaz’s empty Coke bottle and surged into the room. Grasping the neck, she brought the bottle down on Bell’s head as hard as she could. A dull glassy dink resounded through the room. Amethyst was surprised that the bottle didn’t break.

For her part, Bell/Alexa redoubled her efforts; choking the speech out of Peridot.

“What is this?!” Topaz said, shocked at the fighting going on in front of her.

Lapis acted next. She jumped over Yana, grabbed a book on the LSAT, and swung it spine first at Alexa. The blow was almost as painful, but Alexa persisted. She wouldn’t lose Peridot, this was the moment of truth. As long as she could put up with a bit more pain, she could finally kill the girl of her dreams.

“It’s Alexa!” Aqua shouted, “She’s possessing Bell and she wants to kill Peridot!”

Aquamarine’s explanation helped spell out the situation that everyone had already pieced together. Aquamarine, was the epitome of usefulness. Amethyst brought the bottle down on Bell’s head again, hard; while Lapis abandoned her book, and tried to pull Bell/Alexa off Peridot.

“Let her go damnit!” Lapis shouted, “Bell, please!”

“Get the fuck out!” Amethyst yelled, bringing the bottle down on her head again.

Topaz advanced into the room, sidestepping Yana who’d gotten up on her feet. She moved passed Amethyst, grabbed Bell by the shirt, and yanked her off. The force finally was enough for her to let go of Peridot’s neck and Topaz lifted her into the air.

“Get off me!” Bell spat, “You cunts can’t stop me from taking what’s mine!”

Bell struggled and flailed. She landed a kick onto Topaz’s shin before the larger girl changed her grip. She wrapped her arm around Bell’s neck and had her in a chokehold, slowly depriving her of air just as she’d done to Peridot. 

For her part, Peridot was lifted into a sitting position by her girlfriends. She was coughing and spluttering, not yet able to form coherent words. She rubbed her neck, the impressions of Bell’s fingers still evident.

“Breathe, Dot,” Amethyst said, concerned.

“Oh my god, she really did come back!” Lapis said, turning to Topaz and Bell.

Bell’s struggling began to lessen. Her curses cut short with her air. Topaz calmly kept her hold on the smaller woman; Bell’s fingers having scratched at Topaz’s arms until they bled.

“Topaz!” Yana said urgently, “Stop! You could kill her!”

“It will be fine,” Topaz said, her expression strangely neutral, “I know the window between unconsciousness and death for a sleeper hold.”

“I don’t share that confidence,” Yana said, still worried.

Eventually, Bell stopped moving and Topaz let her go quickly. Bell collapsed into Yana’s arms and the six stood, wondering what to make of the whole thing. Yana checked Bell’s pulse and made sure her airway was clear. Bell was alright, unconscious, but alright.

“We have to tie her up,” Lapis said, the first to speak, “She’s out, but she can be up in a moment.”

“What the hell can we do?!” Aquamarine said, “The police will never believe us.”

“We can see her in the mirror,” Amethyst replied, “Why shouldn’t they?”

Topaz pointed to the mirror, and the group looked, seeing Yana only holding Bell’s body rather than Alexa’s.

“Shit,” Amethyst said.

“We need to do something,” Peridot rasped, finally able to speak, “We can’t just leave her like that.”

“Are you ok?” Lapis and Amethyst said simultaneously.

“Fine,” Peridot said, “Thanks you guys.”

“Are you badly hurt?” Lapis asked, “Did she…”

“I’m fine,” Peridot clarified, “Other than the sore throat and a metric ton of mental trauma, I’m fine.”

“Fuck, Peri,” Amethyst said, “We’re sorry.”

“You came, you saved me,” Peridot said, with a reassuring smile, “That’s what’s important.”

“You’re sure you’re ok?” Lapis persisted.

“I’ll live,” Peridot replied, “I’ll get help later. We have to find out what to do with Bell.”

Yana had picked Bell up and took her to their Bed.

“So, what now?” Aqua asked.

“We’re going to have to get Alexa out of her… somehow,” Amethyst said, “We can’t just leave her inside Bell’s head forever.”

“I’m going to restrain her,” Yana said, grabbing some rope from their closet, “Stop her from hurting us or herself.”

“I can’t believe it,” Amethyst said, “She really did come back.”

“I thought it was over,” Peridot replied.

“How?” Topaz asked.

“I don’t know,” Aquamarine admitted, “She told me that not even she knew. She just kind of came back when Bell touched a picture, I’m pretty sure it was the memorial.”

“You knew about her?” Lapis asked.

“Yeah. She told me when she caught the bus over to the cemetery,” Aqua replied. “She figured no one would believe me. Carnelian didn’t so that’s why I didn’t bother telling you about her.”

“So, what do we do now?” Yana asked, her binding complete.

“Yo Yana, how did you know how to do a Prusik Shackle?” Amethyst asked, noticing the knots she’d used to restrain Bell.

“Uh,” Yana said, looking from Amethyst to Lapis to Peridot, “…Girl scouts.”

“Must have been some kinky scout activities,” Lapis said, smirking at her.

“Not the right time Lapis,” Aqua said, cutting off Yana before she could object, “And I can’t believe I’m saying that.” 

“She’s right,” Amethyst said, slamming her fist in hand, “This isn’t the time to speculate about the sordid affairs the Zircons get up to behind closed doors! It’s time for action!”

Yana slapped Amethyst on the back of the head for that comment. Aquamarine snickered.

“So,” Lapis said, looking at the other five, “Does anyone know how to perform an exorcism?”


	18. Getting the Bitch out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Alexa restrained, our heroes try to remove her... poorly.

The art of Gunpla is an important one. Gundam is a storied franchise with decades of history to it. A key part of Gundam is the Gunpla model kits. Through these kits a fan may bring their favorite figure to life in a variety of sizes. It’s a passion, it’s a hobby, and it’s expensive.

Thus, this was how Emerald was spending her night. It was just her, a pair of tweezers, a nipper, and an HGUC NZ-666 Kshatriya. She had the plastic grids full of parts all fused together in the plastic. 

The Kshatriya was a favorite of hers. It’s key role as a powerful antagonist (in green to boot) in Gundam Unicorn left an impression on her. After collecting her kits, she’d finally managed to acquire one in High Grade 1/144 scale.

The moment of truth, the first cut to finally begin her construction.

Emerald held up the A runner and moved her nipper close to it. She stopped when she heard another scream.

“God damnit,” she muttered, putting down her Gunpla equipment.

“Those fucking law students better not be screwing again,” she said, getting up from her chair.

Emerald exited her room and walked to the Zircons’. She knocked on their door and waited.

To her surprise, Topaz opened.

“Yeah, sorry,” Topaz said, already guessing why she came in.

“Can you just please, please keep it down?” Emerald asked, annoyed.

“We’re trying,” Topaz said, “We just need to calm her down.”

“What exactly are you doing in there?” Emerald asked, oddly curious.

“Uhh…” Topaz said, searching for an answer.

Emerald tried to look past Topaz into the dorm, Topaz shifting to block her.

“It’s a long story,” Topaz said, cautiously, “Bell is uh… having a panic attack. She’s not well now and.

“YOU THINK YOU CAN RESTRAIN ME!” Bell screamed in a voice several octaves lower than they’d ever hear from her, “I WILL BREAK FROM THESE BONDS AND INFLICT A SUFFERING YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND! YOU THINK YOU’VE STOPPED ME? YOU THINK YOU CAN PROTECT HER FROM ME?!

Emerald looked at the scene behind Topaz. Aquamarine, Peridot, Amethyst, Lapis, and Yana were all standing around the bed. In that bed was a Bell, bound to its four corners, seemingly levitating. Around her several books and items began floating as well.

“Try a different passage!” Amethyst yelled.

Yana had a bible open and was flipping through it.

“And not another one from Pulp Fiction!” Aqua said.

“Ok, ok,” Yana said, “Thessalonians 2:12 “ _Encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory._ ”

“Fuck you!” Bell screeched, her voice shifting back to her own “Fuck you and that fucking book. It has no effect! When I get out of here, I’m going to make you relive our wedding night, and I _will_ make it hurt!”

“Goddamnit!” Yana shouted, “It’s not fucking working! None of this is fucking working.”

Peridot began flicking a bottle of water at Bell. It was Holy Water, and the bottle was designed to send out drops with a flick of the wrist. It also wasn’t working.

“I know how you can really get me wet Peri,” Bell said, smiling lecherously.

“Let me try,” Lapis said grabbing the bible.

“The Power of Christ compels you!” she yelled, smacking Bell over the head with the bible.

“The Power of Christ compels you!” she yelled, striking her again.

“The Power of Christ-”

“Stop hitting my wife!” Yana shouted, grabbing the Bible back from Lapis on her backswing, “You’ve done enough damage to her cranium already.”

“The Holy Water isn’t working either,” Amethyst said, “Maybe we need to try hitting her with the Quran?”

“No, I’m with Yana, let’s stop hitting her,” Peridot said, “I’m pretty sure all those hits with the Coke bottle probably need to be looked at.

Emerald watched the fiasco from the door and turned to Topaz.

“Ok,” Topaz began, “I know this may look weird… but… uh.”

“Bell’s possessed by an evil spirit?” Emerald asked, nonplussed.

“Yeah, that’s about it,” Topaz said, relieved she didn’t have to explain anything, “Remember Alexa?”

“Oh jeez,” Emerald said, “Poor Bell.”

“Yeah, we’ve been trying to exorcise her, but nothing’s working.”

“You know Topaz, I know a guy. I can call them, see what they can do. They know how to perform and exorcism.”

“Thanks Emerald, that’d be great.”

Emerald departed from the doorway whilst Bell unleashed a slew of curse words.

“Fuck all of you. Fuck all of you with the hottest fucking knives ever. You fucks think you can keep me away! I escaped death for Peridot, I came back from oblivion for her! And I’m going to make damn sure she knows it!”

“So, Yana,” Amethyst said, turning to the law student, “You guys got a ball gag or something? Just anything to shut her up?”

“No,” Yana said, glaring at her.

“Aw c’mon, really? You do this shit and don’t have a ball-gag? Yo I can show you where you can-”

“Not the time, Amethyst!” Peridot snapped.

 

Emerald walked over to the common room where she saw Holly, Garnet, and Carnelian all sitting around a table. Garnet’s face was unreadable behind her shades which she was of course wearing in the dead of night. Carnelian looked worried, while Holly looked irritated.

“So, you saw the fiasco?” Carnelian asked Emerald.

Emerald nodded.

“Quite a scene,” Carnelian continued, “I wish we could do something, but the dorm is too small for seven of them much less any of us.”

“Why did they have to do it on my floor?!” Holly said, annoyed, “They’re past lights out and screaming up a storm.”

“It’s fine Hols,” Carnelian said, patting her shoulder as Holly banged her head against the table in frustration, “The evil bitch will be gone by tomorrow… hopefully.”

“It’s taking quite a while,” Garnet said, “I am worried about Bell. I doubt anyone here has an idea how to get an evil spirit out of someone.”

“They were hitting her with a bible,” Emerald said.

“And now we know that doesn’t work,” Garnet replied.

Emerald sighed and left the three to go to her room. She retrieved her phone and scrolled through her contacts. She scrolled to her exorcist and dialed. Hopefully they could produce a solution for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, idea for Emerald here. She's a student in the ROTC with miss-matched eyes. Since she seems to be an anime villain in canon, here she's an anime fan and collects a lot of mecha and sic-fi (Captain Harlock especially). She has a long standing rivalry with Lars after he bid-sniped a Love Live! Tojo Nozomi figure she had her eyes on.


	19. Taunts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa's commotion attracts the attention of the downstairs inhabitants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another warning for this chapter. Alexa reiterates some of the things she's tried to do, so warning for references to attempted sexual assault.

“I sense danger!” Padparschada said, “Something bad is about to happen!”

Skye nodded at that. Her friend was always on about how she “felt” things were going to happen. Usually she was quite slow on the uptake often informing her of potentially dangerous, unhappy, or interesting events, after they’d happened. 

“You know how those Law Students are acting all weird?” Pad said, “I just know something bad will come from that.”

“Well, let’s hope they can get through it,” Skye said softly.

Pad meant well, she always did. Skye had come to appreciate her boundless optimism and Pad in turn appreciated Skye not talking down to her because of how she acted. The pair looked to the ceiling where they heard another bang come from a point down the hall. Their dorm floor was one below the Zircons and earlier they’d heard some yelling. Pad and Skye were hanging out in their dining room. Yelling was common here in the dorms: sometimes Holly got upset at rules being broken, sometimes Pearl freaked out about a mess, most of the times though it was someone having sex. Skye had bought Pad a pair of noise canceling headphones for Christmas, in hopes to do something about it. Peridot could be loud, as could Holly, and Carnelian, and Pearl, and even the folks on their own floor. The sounds were enough to elicit a discomfort in Skye and she wondered how they could all be so forward about their intimacy.

“I know this feeling!” Pad continued, “I don’t know what, but something bad will come of this! I know it! I feel so sure!”

Skye didn’t doubt that. Pad was usually right about these things, but often that came at a point too late to do anything. Two days after Alexa had cornered her in the bathroom, Padparschada privately shared her worries that Alexa was a sexual predator. A week after Alexa had died, Pad began to worry that Peridot’s mental state might have been affected.

“I’m sure it’s just stress,” Skye said, trying to be reassuring, “Maybe they’re just having a rough time in their relationship?”

“I don’t know,” Pad said, still worried, “This feels big!”

“I’m sure they can work through it, we don’t need to do-”

“Hey, did you hear?”

Pad and Skye turned to the voice; it was Hessonite at the door looking at her phone.

“Apparently there’s some weird occult stuff happening upstairs. I’m going to check it out, you guys want to come?”

“Ok,” Skye said, her voice the same soft even tone it always was.

The pair turned to Pad, waiting for her answer. After a few moments, she perked up and said, 

“Oh my! Something really bad _is_ happening!”

The three headed for the elevator with that. Hessonite checked her phone again, a few from their floor were posting a video of Bell Zircon reenacting a scene from “The Exorcist.” The video was titled “Super Real Spooky Possession! Actually Happening! Not Clickbait!”

Hessonite sighed. This had turned into a real fiasco and the floor was filled with a number of students who’d come to see what the ruckus was. Peridot, Amethyst, Lapis, and Aquamarine were all outside the door, talking amongst themselves. Holly was criticizing everyone for choking up the hallway. As usual, nobody was listening.

Skye walked passed them and peered into the room. Topaz was standing guard nearest the bed, while Yana was searching for solutions on her laptop. Zoe, a girl from Skye’s floor, who was the reason she’d bought her own pair of noise cancelling headphones, was taking selfies by the possessed and shouting Bell.

“Shit, this is going on my Snapchat story,” she said, typing on her phone.

Zoe’s sort of girlfriend Beth was there as well, watching the scene with the same unimpressed facial expression she always had.

“Is it safe to take selfies next to her?” Beth asked Topaz.

“No,” Topaz said, “But she didn’t listen and did it anyway.”

Beth shrugged and said, “Hey at least the Prusik Shackles will hold. Good call Yana.”

“Fuuuck off,” Yana said, not even looking up.

“So, this is really Alexa?” Hessonite said, Skye stiffening at the name.

“Unfortunately,” Yana replied.

“Do you have any ideas on how to fix this?” Hessonite asked.

“We tried almost everything,” Yana said with a sigh, “Pearl’s off to get some Rosary beads, Holy Water doesn’t work, and Emerald said she’d get an exorcist. We’re running out of options.”

“I can go grab some sage I have in my room,” Hessonite suggested.

“Couldn’t hurt,” Yana replied, shrugging.

Hessonite headed back, leaving Skye and Pad.

“Ok, ok, give your best scary face,” Zoe said, aiming her phone at Bell.

“When I get out of here,” Bell/Aexa said with a snarl, “I’m going to shove that phone right up your sn-”

“Well, that’s lovely,” Beth interrupted, “Zoe, we’re taking up too much space. You can get more Instagram or snapchat likes later.

“Awww, but we were just getting to the good part!” Zoe said.

Beth rolled her eyes, turned to Yana, and said, “If she’s making too much of a racket, we have a ballgag and I can get-”

“No damnit! That’s unsanitary!” Yana snapped.

Beth shrugged and pulled Zoe out of the room with her. Alexa awkwardly tried to flip them off.

“I really hope that exorcist can help us,” Topaz said.

“Hah! You wish,” Alexa jeered, “I’m here to stay!”

“God damnit,” Yana said, “I’m too young to have my first marriage go to shit.”

Skye kept her eyes on Bell. Bell’s face was contorted into a snarl; there was an anger and a danger to her features that Skye’d never seen in the woman before. Alexa… Skye couldn’t believe it. Alexa had returned again and right before her eyes she was twisting Bell into this creature in front of them.

For her part Alexa caught her staring and turned toward her. Skye’s blue bangs made her eyes hard to see, but Alexa could still manage. For a brief moment, Alexa just stared intensely, locking eyes with the shorter girl.

“Well… fancy seeing you again,” Alexa said, her voice having gone from erratic shouting to something low and far more threatening.

Skye swallowed, her hands nervously fidgeting with the end of her shirt.

“Jesus fuck, Skye, how’ve you been?” Alexa asked.

Skye tried to answer, but the words were stuck in her throat.

“Me? Well, I’m here,” Alexa continued, “Stuck in this body, stuck on this bed. It sucks, but hey, this is just how it is.”

“You…” Skye said, not able to form a sentence around that.

“You cost me,” Alexa said, getting angry, “You’re the reason Aquamarine stopped fucking talking to me. You wishy-washy little bitch.”

“I…”

“What the fuck is you’re problem?” Alexa snapped.

“Alright, shut up you whiny bitch,” Yana said, looking up from her computer.

“Oh, can it you shit faced assclown,” Alexa snapped, “Mind your own fucking business!”

“You possessed Bell and tried to kill us!” Yana said, livid, “This is my business!”

Alexa grumbled to herself at that. Yana was technically right after all. Still, she turned back to Skye.

“We could’ve had fun,” she said, “I would have given you a night to remember.”

It had been a night that Skye remembered. She’d dreamed about it, she could still feel Alexa touching her and trying to take her pants off. She couldn’t remember what they’d said, but she remembered crying.

“Fuck me,” Alexa muttered, “That’s just one of the points where my life started spiraling out of control. Everything just seemed to pile on more and more from that night.”

“I-I wanted you to stop,” Skye said, looking at the floor.

“Coulda said something, couldn’t you?” Alexa sneered.

“Why?” Skye asked, daring to make eye contact with her, “Why did you…”

Alexa shrugged, though with some difficulty due to her binding.

“I was a few drinks in, bored, you were just there. I thought it’d be easy.” Alexa said, almost disinterested, “I didn’t think you’d ever seen any action so I thought I’d try you out.”

“How crass,” Yana said, in a deadpan voice.

“Aw shut the fuck up,” Alexa said, “She was an easy mark. I was in the mood to fuck a virgin. Sue me.”

“God if only I could,” Yana replied.

“Fuck,” Alexa continued, turning to Skye, “I was so sure it was going to be a good night, especially when you started crying. There’s something just so _hot_ about that, y’know? Seeing someone vulnerable and just fucking them till it hurts.”

“You’ve left behind all pretense, haven’t you?” Yana said.

“I’m dead! What the fuck is pretense gonna do?”

Skye stared down at the woman. Hearing her talk like this pushed those feelings to the surface again. She could feel the fear again of being in such a dangerous situation. She felt ashamed of herself for letting it build into that; of being weak passive little Skye letting everyone walk all over her.

“I was just going to forget about you,” Alexa said, addressing Skye again, “It was just going to be Peridot, maybe her friends too, but now that I think about it, I should have remembered you. I don’t like when they get away, you know? And I’m just thinking-”

“Skye,” Yana said, interrupting Alexa, “It’s probably for the best if you step out. She’s trying to get under your skin. There’s nothing she can do to you physically now that she’s like this, so she’s trying to hurt you that way.”

Yana placed a hand on Skye’s shoulder; she could feel the younger girl shaking a bit. Yana began to lead her and Pad out, leaving Topaz to watch their captive.

“I don’t think we should be around her,” Pad said.

Skye wondered if that was her just being slow on the uptake or if she was simply stating a fact in real time.

“Already?” Alexa said, mock disappointment in her voice, “Awww.”

“Hold on,” Skye said quietly, shaking Yana’s hand off her shoulder.

She walked over to the bed, Alexa smirking at the action.

“Yeah, I thought you’d come back,” she said with a grin.

Skye’s face was unreadable under her bangs as she stood over Alexa/Bell.

“You shouldn’t stand so close,” Yana said, walking over to her, “She’s tied up, but-”

Yana was cut off by Skye surging forward and landing a punch on Bell’s nose, hard enough to draw blood.

“Fucking shit,” Alexa cursed, squirming in her bonds.

“No, no, no,” Yana snapped, pulling Skye back, “No more hitting her! That’s still Bell’s body.”

Yana could feel Skye shaking again, this time in anger. Skye’s face was visible to Alexa now, contorted in rage, tears spilling from her eyes. Yana caught a glimpse of it to as she pushed Skye out of the room, Pad following soon after.

 

Outside, Skye spoke,

“Never,” she said, still angry, her voice cracking, “Never again. I’ll never have someone like her try something like that on me ever again.”

“It’s hard to see her, even if she is tied up,” Yana replied, “Whatever she did… it wasn’t your fault. Just know that.”

“She’s just so… awful.” Skye said, trying to regain her composure.

“She really is, isn’t she?” Yana responded.

“I liked her better when she was dead and we were all pretending to feel bad,” Padparschada said.

Both girls turned to Padparschada, surprised that she’d come out with a statement like that. For her part, Pad was nonplussed and shrugged.

“I just know that’s what everyone was thinking,” she said.

“Yeah,” Yana said, with a similar shrug, “Things were better in that brief window of her being both dead and gone instead of just being dead.”

“You, you can get rid of her right?” Skye asked.

“We’re trying,” Yana said, patting Skye on the shoulder.

They’d left the room, Aquamarine and Lapis were still chatting, while Peridot had watched the happenings in the room without saying a word. Skye went over to them.

“So… how’d it go?” Lapis asked, looking at Skye with concern.

“I didn’t know what I expected,” Skye said, “Even seeing her again. It’s so strange.”

“Are you ok?” Aqua asked.

“I’ll be fine,” Skye said, “She can’t do anything while she’s like that. She’s not going to apologize, but at least she’s not going to do any more harm. My knuckles hurt a bit.”

Skye rubbed her fist at that, the subsiding adrenaline spike making her recognize the pain she’d felt from preforming such an action she wasn’t accustomed to.

“What she tried to do,” Aquamarine began, choosing her words carefully.

“She _tried_ to do it,” Skye said, turning to Aqua, “She tried, and she didn’t succeed. You stopped it from getting worse. I… I never said thanks.”

Peridot turned from the conversation back to Yana who was staring back into the room with concern on her face.

“Yana?” Peridot said, breaking her concentration.

“Hm?” Yana replied, looking down at her.

“I didn’t get a chance to say this earlier, with all the chaos and stuff. But, thanks for saving me. If you hadn’t got there when you did, I… I wouldn’t have been able to fight her off.”

“You’re welcome,” Yana said with a sigh, “I just wish it hadn’t come to this.”

“We’ll get her out,” Peridot said, confidently. “At the very least, she’s visible now, and people know how dangerous she is.”

“Yeah,” Yana replied, and walked back in.

“So, you came crawling back?” Alexa said, sneering at them, “Cute little shrinking violet had, enough hadn’t she? Didn’t want to stay in the same room as me huh? She’s just feeling tough because I can’t fight back!”

“That’s always how _you_ felt tough,” Yana said, mild annoyance being the only reaction she could muster to that. 

Alexa snarled at that, scrunching her bloody nose in an effort to help alleviate the pain.

“What are we going to do next?” Topaz asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so Beth and Zoe are also OCs from the same blog. [Peridot 5XB and 5XZ](http://drawbauchery.tumblr.com/post/168265450337/concept-drawings-of-5xb-navel-and-5xz-thigh) and [as humans](http://drawbauchery.tumblr.com/post/168373791362/o).
> 
> 5XB/Beth has the navel gem (navel ring), 5XZ/Zoe has the thigh gem.
> 
> The bit about selfies was inspired by the scene with the Lich in Adventure Time and the people doing selfies next to his inactive body.


	20. Exorcism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Exorcist Arrives and we can finally be done with this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the Exorcist first shows up, imagine [this music playing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj83ugShbic).

“Anything?” Pearl asked.

Bell was still restrained, any power to lift furniture thankfully gone. They’d managed to gag her using a pair of Bell’s own socks, clean ones, balled up and shoved into her mouth. Not an elegant solution, but a good way to shut Alexa’s foul mouth up. Pearl had placed a Rosary on Alexa/Bell’s head in order to test its holy effects. Amethyst moved the Rosary Beads off to check if there was any progress.

“No,” she replied, “No burns from touching holy stuff or nothing.”

“Darn,” Pearl said, “Maybe we should try finding a copy of only the Old Testament?”

“Maybe we should make her swallow the beads like in that Lady Gaga music video?” Lapis asked.

Everyone gave Lapis a strange look at that suggestion.

“Hey… it could work?”

“I swear some of you are just using this as an excuse to whack her,” Yana grumbled.

“I don’t want to whack her, I just want to see if she can deep-throat the beads,” Lapis replied.

“Why… why did you have to say it like that?” Yana said.

 

Outside of the dorms, a taxi pulled up and a figure exited. He had a broad frame and was clad in a trench coat and fedora. He paid the cab driver and departed with his suitcase, staring at the dorm. The light from the lobby shone on him, and he advanced toward it. Emerald was sitting there and stood when she saw him, opening the door to let him in.

She took him to the elevator and sent them up to the floor. Upon departing he noticed that a small crowd had gathered in the hallway as several of the students had come to witness the strange possession. Holly was being her usually grouchy self, complaining that nobody had listened to her orders to return to their rooms. Dejected, she sat at the dining room table, Carnelian cooking up some popcorn for the crowd and trying to cheer her up. Aquamarine sat in the hallway, idly looking up different ways to exorcise a spirit on her phone. They’d tried so much, barely anything worked. Topaz sat next to her, questioning the different methods. Deep down Aqua was glad that they could have a conversation like this without the awkward small talk. Jasper had come up from her floor and she and Garnet were debating on whether calling the police was necessary. Beth and Zoe, were viewing a video they’d taken of Alexa’s possessed ranting. She’d called them both cunts, something which Zoe was having a good laugh at because that was something they’d never expected to hear Bell say. Roxy was there as well, having attempted a kind of hypnosis with one of her crystals… it didn’t take. Now she was just watching videos with Beth and Zoe.

He pushed past them, heading to the room.

“Apparently, she’s been possessing the victim for months,” Emerald said, “Slowly overriding control. Now, she’s dominated her completely.”

He nodded as he stopped in front of the door. He felt a chill emanating from the room, something that several of the students remarked on. Sage was burning inside and the smell wafted over them.

“There’s powerful energy in there,” he said, before opening it and entering.

“Who the hell are you?!” Bell said, having spat out the ball of socks that was once gagging her.

Peridot, Amethyst, Pearl, Lapis and Yana all turned to the figure. He parted his trench coat, exposing his Cossack and Priest collar.

“It-it can’t be,” Pearl said, shocked.

He gradually took off his fedora as he stepped into the room.

“I came as soon as I heard. My name is Reverend Father Harold Smiley,” he said holding the fedora to his chest, “And this woman is indeed possessed.”

They just stared at him for a solid 30 seconds before Amethyst spoke.

“Mr. Smiley? You’re a priest?”

“Yep!” Father Smiley said, beaming, “Joined the church over a decade ago. I can perform weddings, bless areas, and oversee legal matters.”

“Wow,” Pearl said, “The more you know.”

“Can you help her?” Yana asked.

“It does seem to be a severe possession,” Father Smiley said, “She’s affecting the local temperature. Has she been able to move things with her mind?”

“Just for a bit,” Yana replied.

“What have you tried?” he asked.

“We read bible passages, threw holy water on her, showed the sign of a cross, put rosary beads on her, and nothing worked.” Peridot said.

“Did you try hitting her with the Bible?” he asked.

“Yeah, couple times,” Amethyst said, shrugging.

“Then it really is a powerful spirit,” he acknowledged.

“Hey fuckshit, what are you going to do?” Alexa taunted.

“We will need to resort to extreme measures to remove this deadly fiend,” Father Smiley said.

“Fuck you holy man! Fuck you and the car you came here on! Fuck you, your mother sucks the devils dick in hell and eats his ass.”

“A foul mouth is a sure sign of possession,” Father Smiley said, nodding his head sagely. 

“Can you help her?” Peridot asked.

“Of course, I can,” Father Smiley said, walking over to get a better look at Bell.

She spat at him and he dodged with practiced priestly ease.

“It’s fortunate that you restrained her,” Father Smiley said, examining the knots, “The Prusik Shackle is an effective method of restraint; hard to undo by the restrainee, but seldom likely to cause permanent damage.”

“Yeah, that’s nice,” Yana said, annoyed that everyone kept bringing the knots up.

“No, this is valuable,” Father Smiley continued, “The practice of safe and sane sex is important. Back in my day restraining wasn’t nearly as well thought out. Improper bonding measures can lead to blood clots and potential death. It makes me proud to see that today’s youth is much smarter about intimacy.”

Yana groaned at that, whilst Alexa shouted curses.

“I figured something like this would happen,” Father Smiley said, “Quentin told me that he overheard some college kids talking about how she was possessed by the evil spirit of a sexual predator, back when he was on the bus.” 

Bell yelled another expletive.

“Now, let’s first clear the room,” Father Smiley said, “Just take out all the loose objects. We don’t want to risk her moving something with her mind.”

Father Smiley, Peridot, and Yana moved out of the room, while everyone else began picking up various items and moving them into the hall. A full room would make the process go slower, with everyone bumping into each other, so Father Smiley moved to the kitchen.

Inside, Yana spoke first.

“You _can_ help her… right?”

“Of course,” Father Smiley replied, smiling reassuringly.

“Have you ever done an exorcism before?” Peridot asked, incredulously.

“No, but I have seen them performed on TV,” Father Smiley said, his voice not missing a beat, “And I’ve been briefed on how to perform one.”

“This plan is dead on arrival,” Peridot said, dejectedly.

“Now now,” Father Smiley said, “You sound like Quentin with that attitude. Besides, we have God on our side, and if he be with us, who would be against us?”

Pearl, Topaz, Garnet, Amethyst, Emerald, and Lapis all walked into the kitchen.

“Room’s clean,” Amethyst said, “So what’s the plan Fatherman?”

“I’m going to need a chicken,” Father Smiley said.

“Why?” Yana asked.

“So, I can disembowel it and throw its guts on your possessed victim,” he said, “Chicken blood is potent against possession.”

He turned to them, seeing them all giving him a weird look.

“What? Come on, it’s just a chicken,” he said.

“Why do you need-” Lapis tried to say, before being cut off.

“There are no chickens on campus,” Yana said.

“Well, that’s fine,” Father Smiley said, opening his suitcase and taking out a vial of blood.

“I always keep a vial of chicken’s blood on me, along with my goat’s blood, virgin blood, and holy water. Just in case I’m summoned to a chickenless place.”

Father Smiley left the kitchen then and walked back to the room, the throng of onlookers parting for him.

Yana and the rest followed him. As doubtful as she was, Yana still hoped that the Priest could do it. Peridot contemplated if this whole mess was her fault, having “killed” Alexa. Vidalia’s discussions on self-blame and the irrationality of it, were keeping that feeling in check though.

Father Smiley arrived at the cold dorm room and entered, his breath coming in long misty clouds.

“Oh, you sad assholes are back, eh?” Alexa said.

The room was mostly bare. The shelves remained, but the chairs and books were gone. The computers and lamps were outside with all of the other stuff that could be potentially moved about.

“Why don’t you all just give up,” Alexa continued, “You can’t keep me here forever. I will get out, y’know? Maybe I’ll kill you, maybe you’ll kill me. But I’ll just be a ghost again. Find someone else to possess. Or, you know what? Maybe I’ll just float around and count down how long it takes for Peridot to get old and die. Just watch as she leaves here, loses contact with her girlfriends, gets bitter and lonely in a retirement home, and kicks the bucket. I can be patient.”

“Well it looks like you’ve got a nice long wait ahead of you,” Father Smiley said, still cheerful, “Let’s put a lid on that for now and forever.”

Father Smiley uncapped the vial and dipped his fingers in it. He began to recite the Hail Marys as he drew a symbol of the cross on Bell’s head. With the deed done, he held up the Bible with both hands and said.

“Oh Lord in heaven, you do well to shepherd and guide us. Grant us the strength to banish this unholy being, grant Bell Zircon the fortitude to resist, and grant me the power to repel this repugnant denizen. In your name, I pray.”

Father Smiley then recited an Our Father, and brought the Bible down on Bell’s head. The Bible connected with the bloody cross with a dull thud, and everyone just stared.

“We’re hitting her? Again?!” Yana snapped.

“Ow,” Bell said weakly as Father Smiley removed his Bible.

“Wh-What the hell?” Bell said, attempting to sit up, “What the hell happened? Why am I tied up, why does my head hurt? What are we all doing in my room?!”

She looked around frantically to Yana, Father Smiley, Peridot, and the others. They all glanced at the mirror, seeing that it was Bell tied to the bed rather than Alexa. Peridot reacted first, leaping forward to hug Bell tightly.

“You’re back!” she said, excited.

A stunned Bell tried to return the embrace, but could not because of her bindings.

“It is a miracle!” Father Smiley declared.

Bell glanced at him, and then to Yana, her face essentially asking for an explanation to this.

“So yeah,” Yana said, toying with her ponytail, “Uh, Alexa apparently became a ghost after she died, and she possessed you when you touched her picture, and made you do some bad things. So, we had to call in an exorcist. And now we’re here.”

Bell gave her a blank expression, still trying to comprehend all that was said.

“Oh, and Mr. Smiley is a priest who can fight evil ghosts,” Yana continued, “Because of course he is.”

Lapis had taken out her phone and pulled up Zoe’s video, showing it to her.

“Oh my god,” Bell said, shocked at seeing herself screaming and levitating.

“Yeah… it’s been a weird night,” Amethyst said.

Peridot let go of Bell and turned around. Most of the onlookers had crowded around the door to see what was going on. Zoe was still trying to film everything.

“Anyway,” Father Smiley continued, “The exorcism isn’t done, I’ve only put the beast at bay.

Father Smiley placed his suitcase on the desk and drew a thick cylindrical object. Peridot cast a sideways glance at it, thinking it looked like an internet modum.

“This will be the receptacle for this unholy monster,” he said, “May it hold her foul soul from now until eternity.”

“I can’t believe this,” Bell said, “These videos… this whole thing… what did I do?”

“It’s not important,” Peridot said, relieved to hear her again.

“If it was Alexa… oh my god,” Bell said, her mind drawing some dark conclusions, “Oh no… oh no no no! Peridot! What did I do?!”

“Nothing,” Yana said, stepping in, “We made sure of it.”

Behind them, Father Smiley drew a few symbols on the device using Holy Water; he recited the Lord’s Prayer a total of four times.

“Yo Bell, it’s good to have you back,” Amethyst said, “Alexa making you shout how you were gonna murder us was freaky.”

“Yeah, and I’m sorry I hit you all those times,” Lapis said.

“Yeah, me to,” Amethyst admitted.

“You did what?” Bell asked, turning to them, “Is… is that why my head hurts?”

“And I’m sorry for choking you out,” Topaz said.

“Look, we’re all sorry,” Yana said, “I’ll take you to the hospital when all of this is done.”

“I better not have a concussion,” Bell said, “Possessed by an evil spirit and beaten up, damn everything; This has been a terrible night.”

“It’s getting better,” Peridot opined.

“Don’t jinx it,” Aquamarine said, having popped into the room along with them.

“Alright,” Father Smiley said, drawing all the attention back to him, “The receptacle has been prepared.”

They all stared at the device, Zoe taking a picture.

“So, are you sure this is going to work?” Lapis asked.

“If it doesn’t, I’ve got five… maybe six back up plans,” Father Smiley said, a smile to match his name on his face.

“Well, if we need to do something,” Bell said with a sigh, “Best get it over with.”

“That’s the spirit!” Father Smiley said.

He paused a moment to let the pun wash over the collected people, Aqua groaning.

“The night’s young, the demon is dormant, and you’ll need to brace for a bit more pain,” Father Smiley continued, opening up his bible again.

“In the book of Matthew, the demon who was Legion possessed a pair of men,” Father Smiley spoke, projecting his voice as if for a sermon, “The demons would threaten all who came by. They saw Jesus and feared him, for he was the Son of God. They begged him to release them into a herd of pigs. Jesus did so and the possessed herd of pigs all ran and threw themselves from a cliff to drown in the water below. Thus, the Son of God had defeated Legion and its foul possession.”

Upon hearing the words, Bell began to convulse. It was as if a seizure was over taking her. In the mirror, they could see Alexa’s body flashing over her image, Alexa’s wounded chest bleeding from the night she died.

“I condemn you!” Father Smiley continued, “You who are alike to Legion. A terrible beast tormenting God’s people. A disgusting creature that brings nothing but pain. I command you to BE GONE!”

With that shout, Bell let out a roar. Her reflection was only of Alexa, bleeding and angry. She floated from the bed, her shackles keeping her from getting too far.

“She’s mine!” Alexa barked, “You think this will stop me! I’ll have Peridot in this life or the next!”

“By the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. By the Virgin Mary and all of the Saints. I cast you out!” Father Smiley barked.

There was a loud crack and a flash of purple light before Bell crashed down on the bed.

Emerald noticed a similar purple light emit from a ring around the top of the device Father Smiley brought with him, just for a moment.

The mirror showed only Bell’s reflection in it now. Everyone crowded around her, expectantly. Peridot held one of Bell’s hands and stared down at her.

Slowly she opened her eyes and blinked.

“Is it over?” Bell asked.

Peridot, Yana, Amethyst, Lapis, and Emerald all turned to Father Smiley. Father Smiley in turn looked to the device, and pressed a button on it.

“What the shit is this?!” came her voice from the container.

“Looks like it!” Father Smiley said, “Yeah boy! My first exorcism!”

“Oh, thank god, the nightmare is over,” Amethyst said, sighing in relief.

“Peri!” The device said, before Father Smiley pressed the mute button. 

“This dormitory, is clean!” Father Smiley declared.

“You heard him!” Holly shouted, “Now get the fuck off of my floor!”

There was a lively chat within the crowd as they filed out into the halls. Nobody was really in a hurry to leave, which only seemed to incite Holly further.

Father Smiley began to pack up his suitcase while Yana began to remove the bonds.

“Ok, so we’ll just clean up and get you to the hospital,” Yana said.

“What do we say to the doctor?” Bell asked.

“You fell down the stairs,” Amethyst replied.

“And someone fell on top of you,” Lapis said.

“We can take my car,” Garnet offered.

“Thank you Garnet,” Bell said, rubbing her now freed wrists.

Alexa’s thrashing had dug the rope in fairly deep; not enough to bleed, but certainly enough to leave a mark. Bell wondered what she would tell the doctor if they asked about it. She wondered if she should show them the video and say that it was all an act that they’d gotten carried away with.

“Well, I must say this has been a fun night,” Father Smiley said, already messaging for an Uber, “We got to commune with evil forces, this young lady managed to free herself, and the mental scarring should fade by the end of the year… hopefully. I’ll send you my bill.”

With that, he donned his fedora and departed the room, making sure that his coat left a dramatic whoosh as he did so.

“I can’t believe that worked,” Aquamarine said, “Just… how?”

“Well, I’m glad that we’re out of the woods,” Pearl said.

“She’s gone,” Bell said, “Hopefully for good now.”

“Yeah,” Peridot said, hugging Bell again, “And I’m glad you’re safe.

Bell, Yana, Peridot, and Garnet all got up and left for the parking lot. Topaz, Amethyst, and Lapis all promised to put everything back in the room; Lapis may or may not have taken the chance to root through the Zircons’ things to find their private items.

Emerald went back to her Gunpla and Zoe basked in her newfound Twitter fame. Skye was one of the first to leave. The action was over and Alexa, and all of the unpleasantness that followed her, was gone. Eventually everyone went back to their dorms either to sleep or post about what they’d seen on social media. 

The dorms were clearer now. A single unpleasant character had caused so much pain and misery; but she was gone now. Perhaps a sense of relief is inappropriate when another passes away and yet that was what they all felt… relieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really racked my brain over who should be the Exorcist. Someone suggested Pearl, but when I thought of Mr. Smiley I realized how perfect that was. I tried so hard to not make this a rip off of the Boondocks. And I resisted having Mr. Smiley say "Begone Thot." The fic is better for it tbh.


	21. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the nightmare over, everyone goes back to their lives.

After the event, they took Bell to the hospital. They told the doctor that Bell had fallen down some stairs and wanted to get her head checked out. Thankfully there was only a lot of bruising and no concussion or internal bleeding. Nobody asked any questions not even about the rope marks. Bell was put in a hospital bed after x-rays and the nurse ended up applying bandages to her head. Garnet and Peridot left to go collect some snacks from the vending machine while Bell and Yana were left to talk.

“Jesus this is so surreal,” Bell said.

“It’s not every day you get possessed by an evil POS, go crazy, french Peridot, levitate yourself, and get beaten by a bible,” Yana said with a shrug.

“Yeah I – wait I did what?!” Bell exclaimed.

“Yeah, you levitating was weird,” Yana continued. “I mean what if that became like some kind of superpower and you threw us away with your mind like in X-Men. We would never have gotten you to stop.”

“That’s not what I asked and you know it,” Bell said.

Yana just shrugged slightly and replied, “The point is, you’re better now. Spiritually at least, you’re going to have some lumps on your head for a bit. Sorry about that but be happy all those hits with a glass bottle didn’t do something permanent.” 

Bell sighed.

“God, what the hell am I going to say to Peridot? I mean Christ. Alexa was really going to make me go through with… Damnit I can’t even think about it.”

Yana turned to her wife, noting Bell’s grip on her sheets and the expression on her face that contorted it into anger and worry.

“You didn’t go through with it,” Yana said. “We stopped you before it could get too far. And Peridot won’t hate you for it. You saw how happy she was when you snapped out of it.”

Bell sighed. 

“God this whole thing feels like a nightmare.”

“Yeah,” Yana said, sitting on a chair next to Bell’s bed. “But we made it.”

Yana calmly reached over and grasped one of Bell’s hands, idly running her thumb over the its back.

“I thought the worst thing in law-school was the boredom,” Bell said.

“Meh, I figured something dramatic and stupid would happen,” Yana said. “Maybe not ghost possession, but school could never have been that uneventful.”

 

“You think they’ll like Mars Bars?” Peridot asked as she and Garnet walked back up to the elevator.

“They probably will,” Garnet replied. “Eat some comfort food, you’ll need it after what you saw tonight.”

“Mm,” Peridot said. “You took me to get food because you wanted them a moment alone, right?”

“Yep.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“We’ll probably need some time to digest what has happened here. You especially.”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ve got my own little support net.”

The pair got into the elevator.

“Did you ever believe in ghosts?” Peridot asked.

“Spirits, I suppose,” Garnet said. “There has to be some place we go after we die; she chose to stay here it seems.”

“You know when she died… I hate to say it, but a part of me was relieved,” Peridot said, staring straight ahead at the elevator doors. “I think now I feel that again. I’ve talked about this to a lot of people, but… I still feel a bit guilty feeling that.”

“I’m also relieved she’s gone,” Garnet replied. “These thoughts are natural and so is the guilt. From a practical stand-point I’m glad Bell is free. That demon stewing in the back of her mind couldn’t have been good for her.”

“Yeah,” Peridot replied. “I don’t feel as bad now that she’s gone a second time. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent so long guilting myself over her.”

“Maybe it’s because she was hurting someone else as well?” Garnet offered.

“Yeah, maybe,” Peridot said, pondering on the answer. 

They went back into the room where Bell was being given some painkillers. Bell spent the night in the hospital with Yana and insisted Peridot go home for some rest. It had been a long night, one filled with evil ghosts and head trauma and frankly Bell wanted to get some rest. The hospital didn’t allow non-family to stay overnight anyway and Peridot promised to make Bell a kind of get well breakfast before leaving with Garnet. Bell was discharged the following morning.

 

“Welcome back!” Amethyst yelled as the car pulled up.

Garnet had picked the couple up and driven them back to the dorms where Amethyst had prepared something of a brunch for them. Bell walked in with fresh bandages wrapped around her cranium to see a variety of pancakes, French toast, fruit, bacon, and juice on the common table. A card lay on the plate that said:

“The We’re-Sorry-We-Put-You-In-The-Hospital-Please-Don’t-Sue-Us-Breakfast.”

Bell looked up from the card at Peridot, Lapis, Amethyst, and Pearl.

“Card was my idea,” Lapis said. 

“Yeah, it’s a joke,” Amethyst said.

Bell noted the slight air of desperation in the pair’s smiles.

“You’re just lucky my insurance covered this,” Bell grumbled, before sitting down.

“Well, Bell,” Pearl said, grabbing a bowl of oatmeal and pouring some brown sugar on it. “After a surreal night like that, Peridot and I thought we ought to make everyone something to bring them up.”

“Yeah! Think of it as a thank you for going through… all of that,” Peridot said, beaming.

Bell couldn’t say no to that smile so she began to make a plate; Garnet, Yana and the rest all sitting down.

“God, the last few months were a nightmare,” Bell said, cutting her pancakes. “I felt terrible, I kept having all of these violent paranoid thoughts, and I lost track of where I was all the time.”

“We were worried about you,” Yana said. “I thought it had to be more than stress.”

“Yeah,” Bell said.

“Still it could have been worse,” Lapis said. “Alexa could have not been a complete idiot and given away her whole plan to someone.”

“So many things could have gone worse,” Bell admitted before asking Peridot. “You’re still ok?”

“I’ll be fine,” Peridot said and smiled reassuringly. “We won. You made it out alright; I’d really hate it if getting her out did something permanent to you.”

Bell ran her hand through Peridot’s hair, ruffling it in reply, and they all dug in. The turkey bacon was crispy, the pancakes were fluffy, the fruits were firm, and Lapis had made something called ‘lap ceung’ which tasted pretty good but had stank up the kitchen during cooking so badly that Holly had threatened to evict the lot of them. The smell was thankfully gone by the time they’d all sat down to eat. Bell was grateful for a good meal after a long night. Garnet complimented Pearl’s cooking, Yana was happy that her wife was back, Lapis and Amethyst were happy that Peridot was back, and Peridot was happy it was all over.

 

After a week, everything had gone back to normal. Peridot was almost surprised that they could all just collectively move on after an evil ghost had possessed one of them and thrown a tantrum. She’d shown the video to Vidalia who had already heard of the incident from Mr. Smiley. She said that it was certainly strange but shifted the conversation to how Peridot felt.

“Seeing her again, and seeing Mr. Smiley get rid of her... How do you feel?” Vidalia had asked.

“It feels good to see her gone,” Peridot said. “I mean I hope she’s gone for good at least.”

“You’ve been struggling with guilt you’ve described as irrational since the incident,” Vidalia said. “Do you feel this has affected how you thought?”

“Um… I guess?” Peridot said. “Seeing her again and seeing her just be… **awful**. I don’t know.”

“Healing takes time,” Vidalia said, repeating an oft spoken phrase in their sessions.

“Yeah,” Peridot said with a sigh. “But I do feel better. Seeing Bell try to do… that, might have fucked me up, but I don’t feel too bad about being happy she’s gone.”

“That’s good to hear,” Vidalia said.

“She tried to rape me,” Peridot said flatly, her face emotionless.

Vidalia nodded. Sometimes it was good to get to the core of the issue. Peridot tended to not want to dance around the subject. There was a catharsis to hitting the issue head-on.

“And, I felt sorry for her sometimes,” Peridot continued. “I shouldn’t have, I know I shouldn’t have, but I did. I felt bad about what happened to her out in the woods. It was her fault and I hate to say that she probably deserved it, but I just couldn’t get my head away from thinking like that. I guess this event was like a reminder to me then. Someway to say ‘no you dumb clod, she’s just an evil person.’ I feel like it’s sticking with me this time. She went out on a note that just showed how much of a monster she was.”

Vidalia nodded again, letting Peridot continue.

“And I suppose I don’t feel the guilt I did when she died… or died her first death at least,” Peridot said, scrunching her face as she tried to get her words to articulate in a way she felt worked. “I guess I’m glad that its over more than I’m glad she’s gone. I feel like I’m getting into classes again and I haven’t had any nightmares since the exorcism. That part’s strange because I thought for sure seeing all of that evil shit would stick with me, but no, not really.”

“Do you think the strangeness of the whole thing is what’s hard to take in?” Vidalia asked. “The idea that she turned into a violent spirit and possessed your friend, it just sounds so hard to take in but maybe that made it more palpable than what happened previously?”

“Yeah, that and, well everyone was here this time,” Peridot said, smiling slightly. “It could have been worse but it wasn’t. Lapis and Amethyst were able to help me and so was Yana and Topaz and everyone else.”

“They were there to protect you,” Vidalia said.

“Yeah. They made it all less scary. It felt good to not be alone, you know? Because that’s what she wanted. She wanted me to be helpless, but I wasn’t. I had everyone there with me.”

 

“Man, that was fucked,” Zoe said, watching the footage she had taken again.

She and Beth were sitting together in the common room. Zoe was re-watching the video she’d taken on her phone, whilst Beth was reviewing her astronomy homework.

“It was a week ago,” Beth said. “People have moved on.”

“People moved on from evil ghost demon possession?” Zoe asked, looking up from her phone.

“You’d be surprised,” Beth replied, face un-emotive. “Even Peridot’s managed to move past it, believe it or not.”

“Eh, I hope,” Zoe replied. “But my Twitter and Youtube really blew up! I gotta roll with this new internet fame. What should I expose next?”

“I dunno,” Beth said with a shrug. “Ask Ronaldo, he’s always on the lookout for stupid paranormal nonsense.”

Zoe turned to the back of the room wherein Ronaldo was currently engaged in a lively debate with Emerald.

“The celestial powers within her allow her to defeat any foe!” Ronaldo said. “She defeated the sentient Makai Tree, and several scores of alien invaders. Heck, the first enemy was a sentient mutated sunspot!”

“Augmentation or no, she’s no match for a galactic conqueror of this scale. She can only fight enemies of her stature and the Makai Tree doesn’t count; it wasn’t evil.” Emerald replied. “The idea that she could defeat a being like ten times her size is ludicrous.”

“And yet she triumped over all the others who wished to defeat her! Hell look at Death Phantom, he was a sentient planet and she could still defeat him.”

“They used magical purification bullshit on a being of evil. That only works in this specific case.”

“What are you two on about now?” Beth asked.

“Ok, ok.” Ronaldo said, adjusting his glasses. “Who would win? Sailor Moon or Megatron? She thinks Megatron would win, but c’mon, Megatron is the ultimate ‘big evil dragon to be slain by the righteous hero.’ He has no chance.”

“You’re fantasy tropes don’t count in a fight like this.” Emerald said. “Megatron would step on Sailor Moon like she was nothing.”

“Amazing, you’ve spent the last solid 10 minutes arguing about this,” Beth said, her monotone voice taking a sarcastic edge. “You two are proud of yourselves?”

“I mean… Sailor Moon does have that aura about her y’know?” Zoe said, rubbing her chin in thought. “Like even if the odds just don’t make sense, she’ll still win because she’s the hero.”

“Don’t encourage them,” Beth snapped.

“See!” Ronaldo declared triumphantly.

“You’re both clueless,” Emerald said, angrily. “You can’t just ignore power levels like that!”

Beth groaned.

This conversation continued for another 30 minutes. Ronaldo eventually agreed to take Zoe to several sites where he felt ghostly alien activity took place.

 

“And you’re sure you have no lingering issues with breathing?” Topaz asked.

“I’m fine Topaz,” Bell responded. “The bruising’s cleared up and my breathing is as normal as it ever was.”

Topaz, Roxy, Aquamarine, and Bell were on the board-walk, out for dinner. Topaz had asked, again, about Bell’s neck still uncertain about the sleeper hold she’d used on the smaller woman.

“If she was having a problem then she’d have mentioned it,” Aqua chimed in. “Besides, you taking her down like that was so damn cool. The lack of damage is just further proof of that.”

“I suppose,” Topaz said with a sigh. “I’m just sorry I did it is all.”

“You did a better job than Amethyst and the goddamn coke bottle,” Bell said, rubbing her forehead. “I’m more surprised that my skull stayed intact from that than I am with your chokehold doing something permanent.”

“Do you still feel anything?” Roxy asked. “I mean from her. Do you still sometimes think something and you think she’s the one thinking it? Or there’s like some trace of her still in your head?”

“No,” Bell said. “No nightmares, no violent thoughts, nothing. I’m quite happy about that.”

“She’s gone?” Topaz asked.

“Thankfully,” Bell replied.

Fish Stew Pizza came into sight.

“And you’re fine talking so freely about it?” Roxy asked.

“Yes yes,” Bell said, waving her hand dismissively. “It’s all fine.” 

Inside everyone was waiting for them. Several tables were pushed together and Garnet, Pearl, Lapis, Peridot, Amethyst, Beth, Zoe, Bell, Jasper, Carnelian, and even Holly all sat chatting and menu reading.

“God, finally,” Aqua said as she and Topaz moved towards them. “What are you going to get?”

“I’ll look at the menu,” Topaz responded. “I’ll get a milkshake though, want to share it?”

Aquamarine looked at Topaz, who was smiling down at her. Not a sneer, not a lecherous grin, but a happy contented expression. How could she say no?

“Man, I can’t wait,” Amethyst said, contemplating the many toppings she’d pile onto a single pizza.

“Amethyst, you better not eat yourself into a food coma again,” Lapis remarked.

“Let her indulge,” Peridot said. “We’re all having a big fun night, just cut loose.”

“Mint frosting on pizza isn’t indulging, it’s just wrong,” Lapis replied.

“What’s it feel like to be a killjoy Lapis?” Amethyst asked. “To just break into Joy’s apartment and sacred place of living while they’re bathing and holding their head underwater until they stop moving? You’ve murdered them Lapis. You’ve murdered Joy with your unfun-lameness.”

“If Joy wanted mint frosting on pizza they deserved what they got,” Lapis said.

“Pearl?” Amethyst asked, turning to the woman next to her.

“I’ll just have plain cheese,” Pearl replied.

“Lame,” Amethyst said, “Peri?”

“Probably Pepperoni,” Peridot said.

“How do you feel?” Lapis asked, leaning in close to her.

Peridot looked from her left with Lapis to her right with Amethyst; both expectant but happy.

“It feels good,” Peridot said. “I’m glad we could all take a night out like this. It’s hard to get it so we have time off on all our schedules.”

“Coordinating it was hard yeah, but I’m glad it all came together,” Lapis said. “Even Holly came… god knows why.”

“Yeah, and Emerald and Hess will come in a bit,” Amethyst said. 

“Thanks, you guys, really,” Peridot said. “Everything feels so, so normal now. But also like it’s better. I’m glad you helped me get through this. God knows it was a hard patch. But I feel much better. I’m not looking over my shoulder or being stalked by evil ghosts. You guys are here, Bell’s here, everyone’s here.”

“Yeah, it really does feel good doesn’t it?” Amethyst said, leaning back in her chair and sighing.

“Feels safe,” Lapis said.

“We’re out of the woods,” Peridot replied.

“And all the sessions with Vidalia?” Amethyst asked.

“I’m not close to done,” Peridot said. “Yet. But I feel like we’re taking it all down in leaps and bounds. I feel better now than I’ve been in the last few months. Thanks to her and thanks to you guys.”

Peridot wrapped her arms around her two girlfriends then, a big smile on her face. All was well, it had taken a few months, but all was finally well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bit about Mint Frosting is a reference to Teen Titans.
> 
> Ronaldo's right though. Sailor Moon definitely has the plot armor and favorable David vs. Goliath odds to beat Megatron.


	22. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally just going to be part of the last chapter, but I figured it was better off on its own.
> 
> Note, this takes place right after the Exorcism.

“I’m home!” Mr. Smiley said as he entered through the front door. Quentin looked up from his computer as Harold tossed his suitcase on his ground.

“Did you exorcise the spirit?” he asked.

“Yep! The job was done and it was done well.” Harold said. “Didn’t think all of that exorcism training would come in handy, but hey look at me now.”

Harold took the cylinder from his bag and moved over to the office table. He plugged it into the cable and music player.

“Look what I got,” he said, turning it on.

“Alexa,” Harold said, making his voice clear and direct. “Play my 80s playlist.”

“Fuck you, fuck your 80s music, fuck your religion, and fuck the car you came over here with!” Alexa yelled from her cylindrical technology prison. And then in a much calmer tone: “Playing 80s playlist.”

Billie Jean by Michael Jackson began to play from the speakers.

“This song, really?” Quentin asked. 

“Quentin, I just exorcised a demon and made her into my home music player, focus more on my accomplishments rather than my follies.”

Mr. Frowny sighed and turned to the cylinder.

“So, you’ve trapped a spirit in a piece of technology?” he asked.

“Yep! She’ll keep it in tip top shape as well!” Mr. Smiley said, beaming proudly.

“What’s to stop her from escaping?” Quentin asked.

“I’ve bound her spirit to it rather than her possessing it, so she’s stuck there until I say so!”

“And if the device breaks?”

“She dies for real! No more possessions, no more incorporeal tom-foolery, no more being a creepy undead murder-happy harpy.”

“What!” Alexa snapped, the music still playing. “You can’t do that!”

“According to the Bible, I can,” Mr. Smiley said, smiling a triumphant smile.

“Really?” Mr. Frowny asked.

“I dunno, probably,” Mr. Smiley said, shrugging. “I mean with results like that, how can you argue?”

“You… you… you…” Alexa said, her rage seething with every word. “I will fucking gut you. I dragged myself back from the beyond because of the one I loved. And I’ll be damned that this bit of wires and plastic can stop me!”

“Alexa, mute,” Mr. Frowny said.

Alexa went quiet and the song kept playing.

“You’re still getting payed right?” Mr. Frowny asked.

“They damn well better pay me,” Mr. Smiley said.

And in the end, they did. Most of the gang all chipped in to meet Mr. Smiley’s fee and he was able to pay some of his mortgage with it. Alexa continued to serve as a grumpy, well, Alexa, and she never got out.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is easily the longest Fanfic I've written to this date. Thank you for sticking around with me these were a good couple of months. Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Thank you to all the folks on Tumblr and Discord who helped me with suggestions and encouragement.


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